shit..

Fuck..i seriously got to mature soon..before i hurt her any futher. shit la.why didnt i figure that out? but..but..i didnt know..i mean its like..i didnt treat her coldly. the times was cux i was stressed and all and i didnt know what to say to her. tell her i am stressed and worry her even more? shit sia..i really got to be more mature..someday, somehow..but..how...?

Firstly, she is older than me. gals are already more mature then guys in terms of maturity. Secondly, i am freaking lame..thanks damien.fcuk.

to be a good boyfriend to her. just what must i do? besides the basics of treating her well and being by her side all the time, especially in her times of need, NOT TREATING HER COLDY(first thing to change).but..on the phone, my mind always blanks out. cus..erm..i get excited when we talk on the phone..? it justs blanks out.how to let her know?once again, WITHOUT hurting her, that is.. why the heck did i even take up so much stuff? thanks to all that, i end up "neglecting" her, although negelct hardly does my sins any justice.

the worst thing is,her b'dae on 4 sept, monday.first day of hols. b4 that, OBS!!!how to get her present?shit sia. money..try to get. time, where to find? sincerity?in my heart. haix

Stupid council.take up most of my time.wont complain bout bb.its like, my second darling? council.bloody dhp. arrow me to come up with plans for board in 2 weeks. 2 fucking weeks ofr one years plans? fuck you la.you so smart, you go do yourself la.makings of a leader 101: never make your ppl do something you yourself cannot do. thats how a leader gains the respect of his men.BB.wing commanders. give them a cm, they ask for an inch. over take theie dy csm and their bsm? hey,there is a thing called hierachy.FOLLOW IT.bloody hell.TBS.dunch think that you are csm means that you can dao ppl.your dy and bsm.council meetings. dun even listen to us.wing commanders interrupt, you listen to them.forget it.the both of us will NEVER come for any meeings no more.what the use?since only the wing commanders are talking, let them run the company.i dun give a shit anymore.hansel leong.you fucking backstabber and piece of shit.at least attend ONE parade? not pon all.you are a SQUAD SERGEANT for a reason.its not for you to show off that you have a pos in your cca you gay shit.dunch even come for council meeting.the onli time you came was when we were re-allocating squads. why?you wanted to choose the ppl you liked.the whole council knows you like abiel and lust for brendon and barney.fuck you la.CHRISTIAN org know.HOMOSEXUALITY NOT ALLOWED. BY ORDER-GOD.in the bible? and you are thje welfare squad sgt somemore.ya.look after the ppl in your sleeping bag right.fuck you la.

not good..baq to scolding.you know, i seriously think that my blog is just a place where i pour everyting out?tts good cus no one has to listen to me.haha.but..electricity bill go sky high.oppx.haha

[[tired and stressed fat boy]]

-microsoft sam?go eat strepsils.good for the throat.or you want wd-40?haha.

sian..

today woke up, go school. sian la. reach onli feel faint and kept breaking out in cold sweat. then canot take it anymore, had to go home..then ask daddy..he say ok. haix..went home and slept from 11 to 2 when matthew ong called for adming room key, say dun haf. told him that bin soon had it but lost it. good thing then he found it..haha.

In school, went to ask uncle tan for key. then start his uniform, cannot find lo. then he rush back into lc, cannot find, damn flustered. dunno to laugh or not. cus if cannot find i also kena form SKY..haha. then went home and slept. he called and told mke he found the key. heng sia..haha

OBS!!!on monday..sian la..now dun feel like going already..haix..

Darling..me will miss you..badly..*hugs tightly*muackx.heehee

Sorwie darling..

Darling..sorry bout this evening ya? i guess that i cant blame you can i? cus he is like you erm..son? and like you said, sharing the happi things that you have. Sorwie also because of the stress i am having now, and also because..i have feelings too? tired too..sorwie..

Well..at least this thing is settled le. To get on with life le..wtf. 1230 in the morning. staying up to chiong proposal and to study. f**** la. still got a and e math test later la. haix. well, time to go chiong my proposals and to study le.

cheerio

Whoa lau...

this bloody week has been a fcuked up one. e-learning n ot good, cus of hmw. then kena board stuff. plans for board. then for bb. then her.

wed.today..went for rg. she calls. rejects(in tuiton).calls her after that. go bus stop. see max,leave her alons for awhile(fatal mistake).continues talking to her.she turns cold.i bcum down.suddenly talks bout roy.damn happy.bcum down again.try to cheer up?rejects. talk bout gary. even FUCKING happier. fuck la. you want to go back to him, go ahead. everytime we talk, you never fail to be damn happy everytime you talk about him. onli way to cheer you up? Gary. make you intresterd?Gary. gary thins gary that.go back to gary if you want him so much. ask you if you still like him, you say that he is stupid and silly, thats why you laugh at him. want to know the truth? everytime you talk bout him and get happy, my suspions rise up and a knife goes through my heart.it seems like only he can cheer you up,not me. you keep telling me i am the one who cheers you up,deep inside, we both know thats not the truth.that day at the stairs, i heard you mutter gary will not be happi if he knows bout this.i asked you what you said,you said,nothing. hey.paitence has a limit. pressure builds up.one day, the pressure will burst the host. today,it has burst.so now, let me ask you thins. you want to go back to his side?to me, its seems that he IS your everything.he is the right one for you.you told me that he was a good catch and that he is perfect exepct that he has no time.hey.that went through my heart la.you keep defending him all the time.saying all the acheivements he has.it seems like i am attacking him bcus of his time.hey.does he mean that much to you? today, i finally found something out.deep down inside of you, GARY IS THE ONE THAT MEANS THAT MOST TO YOU NOT ME.now i ask you.me, or him.

FUCKED UP DAY..episode 2.(hahaha)

[continued form the fcuking]..

came out of kitchen from getting water onli, the mom asked me what i had on on sat. then i told her AQ training. then she buay song. started lecturing me about my positions in the board and bb, incl. my guitar lessons and piping. what the la.then she went on to me buying stuff like ex. stuff. whatever la. i mean its like..does she even know fashion? still say what need her dad[or my gong gong(dar dar hor?haha)] to bu me the stuff, and that he has a soft spot for me, express intrest onli he will get. i mean its like, not like i want him to buy one lo.='( then she went on to rattle on about studies and our conversations. she still say that everytime i talk to her, she has to "corner" me, and when she asks me questions, i haf to ask why. dies she understand that i also need a life? does she know that i have friends too and that i know when and where i can study better that her? why cant parents jus leave us alone sometimes, like onli to intervene when things get out of hand? how would you feel when someone is breathing down your neck?everytime? lucky that now we on cold war. good for me. can get to stay out. and do what i want, without needing to report to anyone. without anyone probing me. at least can stay out with darling. the mom is like wanting to know where i am, what i am doing and with who. fuck la. its just like i am on home arrest lidat la. still say what give me freedom. now say cannot really trust my words, haf to confirm, and b4 thatm she said that i am truthful and one of the onli ppl who tell the truth. talk bout irony.salvation came.AIKIDO! then went. And during the towards the end, sam jus had to push me by the elbow(part of the move)but not by the side where the joint is!then slam, not my elbow still pain la. cannot type properly or move la.fuck. darling, you are not reading this*poof*hahas .had a feeling that darling would come, true enuf she came. i really think that the link is baq.whoot! haha.write all this out le feel damn better la. shit. now got dejavu. what the.haha

DARLING

dar dar.i jus wanna let you know that for the past twp weeks, i have been like super childish cux that s my way of destressing. and also i not enuf sleep.sorwie dearix.muackx.


ok.updating your blog twice back to nack is just crazy.haha.byeebyee

hahaha
*why did the man throw the butter out of the window?*
**he wanted to see a BUTTER FLY!!!** *cold laf*ha..ha..ha..
oppx. heehee

FUCKED UP DAY

today is just fucked up la.morning was not bad. jus that the missus was tired.the time of the month la..sent her to school..went to school..before that, met her at 130..she pass me my present.theres like 15 things la?! and one thing is like erm..better not say la.haha. anyway, went to school, and met the duck at the bugis bus stop la! what a coinencidence.went school.buy food and drink.put two straw in mouth, and talk to drink uncle, straw kept moving up and down. unknowingly, all the teachers were like seated jus b4 me la! stare me, and ducky had to tell me that onli when i noticed them myslelf.walk fast like hell.didnt even know i can walk that fast la!haha.after that m, went in to admin room to STUDY! can you believe that? haha.then prof x came into room, study also. then ervine came at like 10 when we were supposed to meet at 915! haha. cant believe that the bloody server was full la.then we waite till 11, fed up, go eat at serene. when we were galf way thru, then we called desmond, who was still at home la. then he came , and halfway, became retarded.haha. went off after that la.go school for no reason!! Arrhh!haha the rest of the day was sotta ok la.studied chem(actually could study la) then had to play ps2, to get mind baq. then study, then play com, and studied a bit again. then the fcuking came...

FINALLY..

haha.finally got a blog..today damn sian..nonono.it was actually nice la. went out todae with..*ahem*.hehheh. wahlau.lesson 1. never,NEVEr go out with you darling when you are tired or have not enough sleep. its not good. well, that was before i went to meet duckie..go all the way to beach road..jus to buy tommy cooker, twine and solid fuel!!! WTF! then me and missus went baq to tm, walk in, then walk out again. decided to go baq after that..talked,time flew past(as usual), and sent her baq..but got locked out.. stayed with her till like 530, then..SALVATION!! her maid came baq. went home.good thing never tio kan. phew. haha

p.s. when you are tired, you would be childish too. haha

B R Y A N T
first gulp of polluted air: 13 August 1991
17 and counting
killed
masked
still bleeding
BORED
Putting on a mask that hides my emotions is more than a game
so strange i never would've
wanted till there was you.
cause i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

GIRLS
Airsoft
Laser Tag(my own company)Click here
Friends
wanna see more? Click here

Asics gel kayano
SV infinity
sonic gear ear phones
a better phone
my black belt.
more money
contacts
white converse
new pair of oakelys
something that money cant buy
ORD!!!

NATIONAL SERVICE!!!

Loved Ones <3
Joanna
Jag
Saiful..emo sial
Kenny
wanna see retarded stuff bout me?
wanna play laser tag?
Esmer.where's alda? =)
evan
Eva
Kar Wei
Bunny
My foto stream
My aussie foto stream
Uriah

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can you hear it? =)

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