Friday, November 24, 2006
life, love, trust, vows and commitments
sigh..yesterday. mom and dad made the cold war look lie a cold extermination. mom came home and locked herself in her room for hours, allowing onli den inside. a few hours later. she came out with 2 pieces of paper. one stated that she would be leaving home and the other stated the things that she and daddy would be paying after she leaves. she also said that she wouldnt be fighting for our custody. is a divorce not conspicuous?sigh. dad was totally shaken. not surprised. den was even more shaken. she is onli 10, coming 11 and she is exposed to the harsh realities of life. the divorce of parents. she came to ask me about these things in life. why does this thing even exist? why must divorces take place? i was totally dumbfounded. she asked me questions that i myself could not answer. After a while, dad took refuge in food and m ps2, then going to work, burying his sorrows deep in the throngs of work. den came to daddy in the study, confiding in him what mommy told her. he was holding back his tears. could tell. i mean.hes my dad. been with him for 15 years. can tell right..was in my room and listening to the radio, then dad and den came into my room, planning the next course of action. they just kept on going on and on about what they could have done instead of turning to God. until i said lets pray. then we prayed for an hour(i think). the holy spirit touched me. not something that happens often. twice onli.then daddy broke into tears. then honey called. asked what happened..then she said should anyhting happen, run over to her place or call sum yee. my fear: den cannot tayke it and run off. dad slept in my room that night. was thinking..den should follow mummy, she can take care of den.better than daddy. no offense but mommy has a steady income and a den can lead a better life than with daddy. cus, daddys income is not steady. but the thing is that. den is real close to daddy. i would stick with dad cus i can help him and he wouldnt have to take care of me much cus am already 15?sigh. on thursday, tot i would bring den out so that her mind wont be too much on this, or do something that she enjoys with her. but when i woke up, she was like already happy, watching tv and stuff. then dad was like ok, but was buried work.After that, he was playing ps2. glad to see that the both of them were happy.mom came baq, status quo. den came outcrying again. comforted her and started talking bout this. then she jus started to talk bout drill. taught her. she picked it up real fast. proud or her*pats dens head*.then eveything was ok..ate and stuff..night came. watched tv with dad. prison break and without a trace.msging darling at the same time. after that, used commie to blog. thinking. if dad were not able to still give me as much money, would i still be able to keep my girl happie? spend enought time with her like i dod before? cus i have to take care of den. would i still be able to keep darling happie and beside me like before?i mean like, with roy and the other ppl jioing her.those guys jioing her would be way cooler, shuai and erm.better than me in all aspects?i mean..i am jus not really the guys in her school and stuff. duno la. the thing is.i hope she doesnt read this. cus if she does, i tio meh.for sure.sigh. would it be possible to keep her without hurting her? my dreams. i dont really like them. monday.the day of LDC. shes going out with roy. LDC pushed back till6. is it meaning something or am i thinking too much?my feelings arent really in my control right now. would i end up thinking funny? right now, my thoughts of her prom and her gg out is not really poisitve. sometimes, i really hate my imagination. if i were to pen my thoughts down, she would end up scolding me. my other blog. of thoughts. should be there.hmmm.well. just putting my faith in her like she wants me too. dont let me down baby. lost myself in you already.
baby.my love for you wont fail.never waiver. just praying hard that whats happening to my parents wont happen to us. it wont right?
+...[shaken boy]..+
yours forever baby..
I went off at
12:20 AM
