-IKEA Tampines
saw something retarded.see the pic.door alarmed.some one scared it?haha

bloody hell

talk about the good reaping good.bull shit.do good things for my dad.end up?not onli getting my work removed.even scolded for helping them.what the hell.help them connect their tv to the ariel,and then tape the cable down to thefloor, they say the tape look like hospital, then just remove it.after 15 mins of that.why?they say too ugly.and they also said that it wont hold.bull.thats why i secured it right.then it didnt move.they felt like lost face.so?say it looks ugly.the reason i tape it to the wall is so that n0o one would step on it.step on it will get blister and bruises.they even scolded me.wtf.next time dont do for you already.i spent my whole morning for you,cus you were complaining that your tv nothing to watch.please la.gramps bought it for ME.and when the other tv came, you say the radiation not good for my health, take away.all the bullshit.please la.

Boxing day

hmmm.today was a start.woke up on the phone.dang was it a hard one.the sweat and pain.not that i'm not used to it but..i was really sick.shivering, dizzy and stuff.pissed her off.guess it was a way to make up to her..morning. no breakfast..was there?forgot le..haha.oh ya.roast ham and beef with bacon.haha.slacked abit..parents went out shopping, left us at home.played ps2 though.haha.then went on to play play play, then lunch.msging her of course.mom called.went down to uncle eddys for dinner.damn was it good.salmon belly and stuff.waited 3 years for that la.hehheh.finally got it.cream de la cream i tell you.nabeh yaki udon[dun think wrong hor.its jap..-_-],subayaki[some rich beef stock thingy[not on menu].cha soba,agedashi tofu.heh. and some sushi that was not on the menu.compliments of the chef, together with fried garlic rice.thats what he doesnt cook for many ppl, and its not cheap xiang..he gave to us as compliments.regulars ma.i;m his disciple! heh.dang was it good.went home.mom watched cold case and csi.dad hit the sack.ohoh.and there was warm sake too.best on a cold day i tell you..heh.really warms the throat first then the body.phew was it good.but real strong i tell you. ohoh.i also got my patrick the starfish from spongebob squarepants soft toy!!heehee.can see his pic in the beginning of the post.heehee.k la. gtg.mommy.hehheh


[.[foreva eurs].]
loads of love.hee

HOHOHO!

heh.christmas back again. before that, it was hell..past few days..didnt have time to update. we went through a damn rough patch la.dont wanna remeber how it started..pain..talked and cried, hearts hurt and broken.sigh.jus when i said no more of that to her.anyways..things are beter now le.well.at least better than b4.worngs ironed out.

SGB was a fun one.first day.joined sai kang squad.suppose to do all the shit, in the end slack around.then i went for the synapse meeting which was the most dry and boring one anyone could ever go to.went baq to hq and doing warehousing was actually the most fun thing.cus of the dry meeting.haha.then on our way baq from skool, we chiong our meal.wei wen bought double cheese, i bought yoshinoya. pack away.we chiong and eat.those food never tasted so good b4. the food we were given baq at hq. rice so dry, vege dun taste like vege, chicken like Styrofoam. haha.

second day we did delievery.in full u. what the.and the stupid cross belt always falls on my front when we all lean forward.all SSGs.haha.salvation army childrens home.didnt see the kids..sigh. second destination. old folks home.seeing them like this really pains my heart la. that made me make up my mind htat i will never send anyone to al old folks home as long as i am alive. the uncle we talked to was injured by a car accident.his eyes are failing him..the previous uncle. has something like OCD, but hes senile. keeps thinkinghe was threading a needle. kept telling me he needed to adjust his..ahem..food also thought ius thread and needle.well,that was be he lost control of his muscles..the other uncle.knows french better then english! he was from china..i think.he had that accent.was abit lonely.cusnot many ohters spoke chinese there..another uncle, wasa soldier.used his walking stick as a rifle. when entering the room, he held it up like as if he was clearing the room.pointed it at me like i was a jap or nazi.haha.went baq and did abit iof warehousing, then slacked al the way.ohoh!we took some food from the warehouse.not that we stole but the old folks that were going to rcieve them cant eat them.they were stuff like candy, choco and sweets.not good for them.not sacarstic.

today.CHRISTMAS EVE. fun, food and laughter.eveining dinner at my auntys. uncles were there.plus my dad = PLENTY OF BULLSHIT.heh. bin soon called.i forgot to send the nominal roll and attendance! Christabel called to tell me bout a new game and to send her proposal.forgot also.then wei wen oso not home.hope he sent le.sigh.after doing all this.still have a bit of time.decided to blog.so.here i am i guess,haha.ohohin 5, its christmas.merry christmas everyone!hee.


foreever your piggy and darling
+[lots of love baby.hugs and kisses too]+

thoughts

that day when is was out wih her, she told me that he asked for a kiss. is that right to ask of a jie? granted you guys are close. that close? not that i dont trust her. ido. with all my heart. its him. with our previous brotherly terms. he said jus siblings. am i thinking too much again? i thought i was till she said she will ignore him everytime he said that. "i want a kiss" what the fuck. fuck a goat or a mirror or what pleasures your sick and demented mind. you want her? too bad.she mine. when i lost her, you should have nade the move. not AFTER shes taken. by your brudder some more. fuck you. wanting her to call."when you calling?" "can i call now" x5 for each.fuck you la. eve i dont want so much of her time. she needs her own privacy as well bitch. shes not your what ever, as she said. thanks to you, her phone may be confiscated. you took her away fucker. pray i dont get you some day.mark my words. i will should her phone get confiscated.i got nothing to lose. get kicked out of board. i so give a shit. i just want her. fuck you la. take up her smses. nah beh. try me roy chong. try me.

sian..
today is..lets say just not my day. waking up not early, not late. about right. went for tution.physics. that was ok. not that bad. actually enjoyed it. learnt many new stuff..halfway through. thats when it all started. she msged me saying that they would be staying there till late. ok. then again she tells me that she would be staying over. wtf. heart sank. took every possible moment to message her. she leaving, i thought. for the day. it seems like an all eternity waiting for her reply. not that she takes long,but its the knowledge that she leaving and that a msg take time to come through. thats the pain. sigh. the good thing was that she did msg for quite awhile. when she reached the check point and enetered Malaysia, thats when the pain started. missed her terribly. now.at night. feel like crying. not messaging her make me feel real empty. without her now. it feels like i lost a great deal of myself. (darling.its the truth. when i saw your message saying dun reply, i felt so..lost la).went home.played ps to get my mind off. dad home. made me go out at 1.45. dental.sigh.one a bad thing.my dentist old acs and bb boy. talked alot. met mom the dad. went to shop. ate at tony romas. food was nice. then another blow came. chrisabel of plmgs msged me saying she will be working with me for games and i was i.c.. wtf. i waws told i would be 2 ic. helping my junior. they turned every thing around. i dont like to plan. when the shit hits the fan, yes i will take the rap for my ppl. i mean.i got enough of planning. planned for camp, eveything. i dont like to take the lead all the time. there are juniors and i want them to learn aedn to take the lead instead of me all the time. besides. my "ic" waws my junior in bb as well. surely i want to see him excel. call me crazy or what not. being able to lead but turning it down. saw acting. put yourself in my shoes, and walk a mile in them. "you will never know how it feels like to be in someones shoes until you walk a mile in them"-unknown . foiund out have to plan games. f you la prefects. spannering ppl only at the last minute. then get the ppl who got pos in other ccas. always. learn la.

sigh.on the way back in a cab. thats when all hell broke loose. over a small bottle. f***.mom said why i accusing ans territorial. my intonation and voice. i cant control or change that. thats my voice. dont like me? too bad. chase me out whatever. i dont really care right now. the reason i am not going out is because i respect gong gong and po po who told me to tolerate. if not i would have shot my mouth in the cab, causing mayhem. but cus i promised gramps and grams, i didnt. denyse. went off to say things i didnt do. its so fucking obviuos shes in league with dad, and him in hers. protecting each other. how i find that? mom scolded dad, denyse defended him. obvious enough?dad said to be Christ like. you yourself told me. no one can be completely Christ like. now you say the other way. contradiction. went home. close door. stone. think. rot.

didnt message her. felt so..empty. never felt like this before. baby. hope you are enjoying yourself over there hon. then she messaged me. felt that. dont know why also. that really cherred me up. seeing two words. dun reply. threw me back to the state i was in before, and deeper.sigh.hon.you have no idea how much i miss you now. now its confirmed again. i cant do without her. sigh.i really miss her..alone, i think of her.eating.think of her. thinking of her every moment alive.

+[love sick, tired, stressed, sian boi boi]+

Now and forever. always yours baby.love ya loads.

nbccb

no favoritism. i believe. so much for. oh we do not favour her over you. my ass. please la. you want to do like that also not so obvious can.. tv nia. dont need to scold me until kike that right say what she got chase inside byme..they dont know the whole thing then start shooting their mouth off. please la. before you scold someone, get the whole picture. dont kill a cow just because it went over the fence.you'll lose more than just your money. dont burn down an entire forest for one sick tree.
forget it. one lesson. back off. let them say what they want. after that, they happy,i also get a peaceful night.

they fought. again. reason? he doesnt wanna help the missus. he doesnt wanna sell some stuff. colourful language lights up the atmosphere. doors slam. they break. so much for dont slam the door.l use money buy one. walk the talk la please..

na beh

Words, words and words. commitments too

hmmm.decs been kind of screwed up i guess..how to say.1. camps. almost half of my hols been spent on camp after camp..leaving not much time for her. ok but..thats not what i can control right?i mean.its not like i dont wanna spend time with her. with the impending dooms day, i doubt i would be able to spend as much time as i could before..moms not happie bout my..erm.."private life", requesting a sit rep everytime i am not around. that really is irrtating.on that note. bout roy and stuff. i guess i am just too sensitive? thinking too much. recently, i have been reading between the lines, jumping the gun and stuff.thanks to board camp. sigh. with all the planing that i need to do, cant help but think ahead and think bout almost any and everything that i come across. sigh. tired and stressed out. got a funny feeling can say bye bye to my council pos cus i like lacking on so many thing like paperwork and stuff.haha. bb.Kil me i also am not going to give it up. her. NEVER will i give up. ok, that trying time was not right..but now, i dare say that i wont leave.thats for sure.
sigh.cant think of what to write now.rain is cold man.esp when the wind blows.ok.thats random.haha.sigh.

love you baby.ever and ever.

today....

today kinda slack ba..GV GOLD CLASS SO ROX..seats damn nice, food and screen too. like first class in airplane like that. just that the "in flight" movie screens are bigger, cannot choose other movies and that there is not turbulence with ppl throwing up behind you and ppl snoring and stuff.haha. happy feet was the first movie.touching. ok. i admit. 1/4 of the time i was focusing on the nachos and three dips infront of me. the seats recline and can control with electronic control somemore la. so cool.haha.sound like just come down from mountain liddat. haha.was at vivo. then went on to tm for open season. it was retarded like shit liddat la. the worse thing. cannot msg much. onli to guys.what the.as she said. parents want me to turn gay or something? well..if they want descendants, i cant be gay can i? i know that technology these days quite advance la, but even IVF(in vitro refertilization) also cant be done in guys right?even if it can, how he give birth? through the asshole ah..haha.jkjk.todae. ups and downs. still recovering from a ton of things. emotional and camp lag.sigh.when can i ever recover..sigh.thoughts and stuff. layers of my mask. too many to be peeled by many?thats so sad. seems can hide. or am i already deceiving even myself?sigh.during QT.read a few things. how can i tell anyone expect turn to God and confide in him? telling others. ppl will say i crazy. take these verses so seriously for what. but.they dont experience what i do now. they will NEVER. Personal relationships with God is not one that can be penned down, nor painted.sigh. love. it overcomes all. that really stands? for me. am i really what she says? i think so. not the positive side. when one is tired and stressed, ones true colours come out. were that her true colours and feelings towards me? if they are. is it really worth all that we went through? [darling.of you read this, dont feel anything oki?its jus a thought]

love's definition in the bible. think it really applies :
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
-1 Corinthians 13:4

sigh.dunno what else to write about le. sleepy. with the camps and SGB coming up, will i be able to keep her happy and by my side still? without hurting her like i just did? i guess it takes 2 hands to clap. right?

[*tired.hurt.confused.stressed.boy*]

B R Y A N T
first gulp of polluted air: 13 August 1991
17 and counting
killed
masked
still bleeding
BORED
Putting on a mask that hides my emotions is more than a game
so strange i never would've
wanted till there was you.
cause i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

GIRLS
Airsoft
Laser Tag(my own company)Click here
Friends
wanna see more? Click here

Asics gel kayano
SV infinity
sonic gear ear phones
a better phone
my black belt.
more money
contacts
white converse
new pair of oakelys
something that money cant buy
ORD!!!

NATIONAL SERVICE!!!

Loved Ones <3
Joanna
Jag
Saiful..emo sial
Kenny
wanna see retarded stuff bout me?
wanna play laser tag?
Esmer.where's alda? =)
evan
Eva
Kar Wei
Bunny
My foto stream
My aussie foto stream
Uriah

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can you hear it? =)

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