ok.its official.i;m confused. sigh.oh wells.taking results todae! ah! sigh..howhowhow. leave it ba.done my best already. to continue or not??

met yeni todae.ate sakae. 61 bucks. one of the last times i saw her..she grew boy.she so grew. and she had to talk about childhood times.we blush like crazy.talked too.man i;ll miss her.a childhood freind going off. but nvm.i'll see her there.haha.melb, that is.

then met june later.i feel so bad..made her wait.sigh.then waited at bus stop with her.then she wanted to miss a few buses to talk.haha.gotta catch up with her sometime.sigh.somethings are better left unsaid.

wellwell.results in 13hours5mins.

i'll catch you when you fall baby.you be sure of that. i wont be here phyically, but be sure that my hearts with you.i'll be there for you baby. much as i wanna let go, i cant. i get weak jsut looking at your smart.my hearts threw into a hurricane.. you've killed me for other gals.when will my fantasy ever come true?

okokok.i reawlly gotta post bout the HK trip soon.sigh. But i'm just uber shagged. been waking up early for the past few times. and i really cant take it no more. I'm just up mist of the time at night thinking of her.but then again like i said before.sigh.i;m just contradicting myself time and time again.what should i do.the things around me aint helping one bit.what CAN i do.nothing at all. teh suffering inside of me.no one will ever understand.All that will happen is that i will isnk into my own despair.only one person can save me now. HER. then the question of her getting her own true love comes in.its never ending.like the chicken and egg question.

work was ok.but sucked. i'm getting tired.REAL tired.gonna quit soon.if i get hte BABW job?so be it.if not? life goes on..sigh. NS, Auzzie,All the shit that adds up. what can i do? sit by and watch the world go by. life in cartoon motion. life seems..static without love.yet, ppl wanna go by WITHOUT love.love makes the world go round.those that wanna do without love do all that it takes to go on without love, while others do all that they can to get love.one must br content with what he or she has.count your blessings and not lament on what you do not have.

once again.my mask is put on.this time.i will make sure that no one will be able to see through it and i will make sure that it does not slip one bit.

i wanna talk to her.she has Os and she wont pick up my calls.how?????


please love me or i'll be gone.for good.this time?it aint just a poem.its for real.I'll be in NS, then Australia.FOR GOOD

bryant..loving you all the way...from a distance.
going further away noe.

okokok.yesterday..decided that i was going to auzzie to study after all. and i was gg to do my ns then go to study. then the thing is that i'll be leaving my frens..but the thing is that..hte course is done by the same instructors at RMIT.sigh. i;ll miss my frens, and most imptly, i'll miss you know who..sigh. decided.i'll apply for poly still.cus need to go for some retarded interview b4 can enlist if i enlisting early..tupid.sigh.hope i cant go for ns.then can stay with my frens.sigh.i'm confused. half of me wants to give her up, let her have or be with someone that would be there with her for good. as much as i want to be with her?i know that i wont be here in sg forever.

i love her.And i would for sure want the best for her.thats for sure.

if letting her go and seeing her with some one that treats her well would be best.seeing her happy would be the best.if the guy with her dares do anything funny, i dont care if he owns the army.i'll employ every single aikido move i know on him, his legs and manhood. unless she stops me. so listen good, "he who is going to be the fortunate one to win her heart".so long as you hurt one strand of hair on her, you watch out.I WILL FLY ALL THE WAY FROM AUSTRALIA TO KICK YOU IN THE NUTS.or anywhere else that deems fit.


moving on..jan 14..went to eat sakae with the guys.we played so much that the ppl kept looking at us to the point that we noticed there were no customers sitting in our aisle,.good thing that sai smart..he took the seats towards the back of the shop when we were offered the seats near the entrance.haha.but b4 that we played arcade.then watied for hari at the sushi place..we sat there for 2 hours.it was a buffet. didnt eat really that much though..lost weight.dun wanna gain back.haha. then played ghost recon and world combat again.haha.this time, hari used his card with sai.dang..got home late. talking to her on the way back was the best man..but i rather she sleep la.so late.she needs to sleep man.she sec 4 this year..baby.i know this man.i went through it just the way you went through it. now can sleep late.but dont do that once you hit term 2 oki? sigh. i know you wont read this but. take care sweetheart..

*[loving you from a distance]*

oh yea.i love you too..though you'll never read this..

friday 11 jan...

woke up todae.supposed to meet sai and the other ppl.but had to see doc at 3.so cant meet lo. then after that met them for dinner. played arcade. i never sweated so much while playing air hockey can..then the puck hit by sai missed us by a little only know. then when playing with hari ah..he hit my hand so many million times..haha. we shout so much ppl started to look at us in a different light.hah

only love can say..try again or walk away..

been thinking..am i really worthy of her? is there another one in her heart? 27dec2005. the day it ended. you told me you were not ready.i waited till i was led astray..i even was dumb enuf to tell you that i was going after another gal.and you knew her. i was waiting for you..you even told me that you were not ready.when i confessed?you told me you didnt know what to say.what was i suppposed to do? you told me not to be emo.how can i? sure, its been a while. you were cold.you even daoed me.till i called you.on the day you killed me, you rejected my call.expected. i took it as a sign to back off.then you msgde me felt over the moon.you know how happy i am whenever i see your name on my phone? now i dare not confess to you again.would i be hurt again? i think of you all the time. i love you. do you? i know i've hurt you.you've hurt me. i dont really care.i just wanna be with you.to see you happy.

you can kill me for all i care. all i wanna see is your smile. the one that melted my heart. the words that calm me and the voice that remind why i live. i am willing to sacrifice all for you. you may not return my love. i;m willing to give it to you still.loving someone does not mean 2-way.to see you happy is my joy. when you feel sad and pain, how i wish i was the one taking it from you. seeing you complain hurts me, to see you suffer. you may take long to reply.i dont care.cus forever is a long time and a good thing and person is worth the wait.

i was foolish enough to ignore the fact that the girl for me was in front of me yet i over looked her, taking adive on love from her.the pain i caused you. i can feel it.i'm totally sorry. i got impatient. now i've changed.i'll wait for you.no matter how long. you've killed me for other gals. now i'm stretching out my hand for you to save me from drowning in the sea of despair and lonliness.

baby you know who you are. ive been her.always was and always will be,there for you.call me anytime when you;re in need.i'll fly down. i'll protect you at all costs. i'd rather take the pain for you then see you suffer even the slightest pain causes an amplified pain in my heart.

i love you.i want you.to hold you in my arms,keeping you safe and warm watching over you all your life, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, thorugh poverty or richness,till death till us part.

my bro edited this for me man..thanks sai..

looking back at this foto.i really wish that the special her said yes..or rather..i should have taken the chance to ask for her hand..i wish the gal in the foto was her..this foto was taken at like..April?may? at pasir ris beach..sigh. baby? i'm sorry..are you willing to forgive me and give me another chance?

I'm all out of love without you..

I’m lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn’t really know

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I cant be too late to say I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long, lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now
and said that I can’t hold on?
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone

Just let me drown in your love..

I'm not pretending that I'm sorry
You know I'm not
You know you got the power to make me weak inside
Girl you leave me breathless
But it's okay 'cause
You are my survival
Now hear me say
I can't imagine life without your love
Even forever don't seem like long enough

'Cause everytime I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter especially ate at night
'Cause I know I'm in the safety of your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
'Cause only you can save me
Oh can't you see
I can't imagine life without your love
And even forever don't seem like long enough

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air that I breathe

Baby I can't help it
Keep me drowning in your love
I keep drowning in your love
Baby I can't help it
You know very well that i cant..

Love was always infront of me..

Are those your eyes, is that your smile
I've been looking at you forever
But I never saw you before
Now I wonder how I could of been so blind

For the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time I'm seeing who you are
I can't believe how much I see
When you're looking back at me
Now I understand why love is...
Love is... for the first time...

Can this be real, can this be true
Am I the person I was this morning
And are you the same you
It's all so strange how can it be
All along this love was right in front of me
yet i was so dumb as to go for another

Such a long time ago
I had given up on finding this emotion...
Ever again
But you live in me now
Yes I've found you some how
And I've never been so sure
I've realized my mistake
now I'm asking you
would you be mine?

well.todae nothing much happen.just went out, wanted to watch avp but kenny forgot to bring his ic..then cannot watch lo. then just crapped for the rest of the day.gonna sleep...haha.nite.

well..this is the second day =)

woke up at like 8..then went for breakfast.wl.the place we had our breakfast was like some "ballroom".more like staff canteen..the food sucked. the onli good thing was the read =P then we went to shop..bought uber lot of stuff. then we had lunch at forgot where..then shop somemore..then went back where we played some ball game in the pool. then something hilarious happened..the lifegaurd suddenly went *peeeeep* you there. no bras allowed in the pool (to my aunt)! my aunt went like, this is not a bra..its a bikini. then the guard lose face, and refused to believe it..and called another to come verify that.then my uncle went, suaku la. cannot tell the diff..bra clip and bikini one different stupid... then went for dinner at newton, yes like the one in sg, food centre. had claypot rice, satay, chee cheong fun, fried kway teow and chendol.in the end, we went baq to the same place we had the good chendol. lol

then we decided to check out holiday inn.when we went in, phew.every aspect of the hotel won the one we were staying in hands down man.even the toilet,pool and everything.the price?20 sing more than the one we were staying in. we gave our hotel a new name. LOKTEL (LOK= lousy in hokkien).the only thing seperating the hotels? a mere road, and they were worlds apart. when we crossed the gate, our heads once high in pleasure drooped in despair.then the aoura of repulsion was felt from our hotel.haha.

we even thought of extending our stay for the massages cus the guide showed us the spa in holiday inn.but we talked and in the end figured it was not worth it. slept lo.


3RD DAY
woke up, ate breakfast but in the coffee house this time. still bread ncier, and together with sasauge. then went to shop.got mroe stuff.then packed and went baq,boarded the bus.
the bus trip.HATED IT.the driver is one bloody chionger. 3hrs straight b4 a toilet break.and it was my 1st uncle that requested for one cus my younger cousin's bladder was about to burst. then the driver went to top up fuel.he went to the malaysian one.patriotic sia.then we speculated.would he top up half here and then go to shell that was nearbY? we were joking, and he really did.laughed our head off.haha. then went home.

back at golden mile, we ate at the ik chin steamboat.uber nice, uber famous and yber crowded. then went home, and aunts and uncles came for countdown.and yea.thats abt it =)

well well..came back from malacca yesterday...uber nice can..well.i'm gonna use what my english teacher taught me..flashback technique..although os are so over man..here goes =)


29 dec 2007
well..woke up at like...630 in the morning?? and had to kena flu,at this time, of all times..oh well. then went to golden mile..beach road actually..to eat some breakfast.mum mum was prata..well.when you're hungry, ANYTHING TASTES GOOD =D then went over to the plaza next to golden mile..dunno what that place called la.dun care also..had to answer nature's call.cannot miss call one..if miss call?good game...
the first bus that we saw was like UBER, which is an understatement, old. Evan, my cousin, was like..HUH? you mean that is the bus we are taking!? i personally hoped it was not man..that bus must have seen better days man..then another bus came..THANK THE GOOD LORD MAN. the bus was much better..the seats were like equivalent to the first class in airplanes man..spacious and stuff..can recline too! =D set off and tlaked like no one's business..those that know my family will know how we entertain ourselves =D reach tuas checkpoint..customs and the usual stuff..after clearing malaysia customs, we boarded the bus..some took the chance to see what we learnt in geog, the terracing, plantations(MR RAMA!!!YOUR FAV! AGAYCULTURE! =P), while others took the time, 4 hours in total, to catch some closed eye. stopped for a toilet break in some ulu ulu place near the highway, oxymoronic, i know =) reached the hotel after long long long loooooong journey.then got a UBER lot of ITS(IN TOR SIN[hokkien]), but thank goodness.they checkout =P went into the rooms..WL.the room like apartment can..but cosy la..we share room with my first aunty and family. had a livin room and stuff. then the best part came. when we opened the cupboard door? the dor kalau (drop/fall) on the floor! then the bulb fuse.dang..so much for hte longest hotel in malacca.the longer the history?the easier for the doors to fall off..haha. then went to the mall opposite. oh and to get there? you have to cross a normal road, AND a highway. man.momsie was like hysterical.haha.then the traffic light was FURTHER and i emphasize FURTHER away from us. went over to the mall and had lunch, before shopping. dinner time came and we went to eat AUTHENTIC nonya food..dang. ate uber lot.real nice.the chendol compared to ours is, worlds apart man..then went back to the hotel and rested.oh and the pool is in the shape of a hibiscus =) continue the second day tomorro..NEEDA sleep..dun wanna be a zombie when i meet the guys..

B R Y A N T
first gulp of polluted air: 13 August 1991
17 and counting
killed
masked
still bleeding
BORED
Putting on a mask that hides my emotions is more than a game
so strange i never would've
wanted till there was you.
cause i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

GIRLS
Airsoft
Laser Tag(my own company)Click here
Friends
wanna see more? Click here

Asics gel kayano
SV infinity
sonic gear ear phones
a better phone
my black belt.
more money
contacts
white converse
new pair of oakelys
something that money cant buy
ORD!!!

NATIONAL SERVICE!!!

Loved Ones <3
Joanna
Jag
Saiful..emo sial
Kenny
wanna see retarded stuff bout me?
wanna play laser tag?
Esmer.where's alda? =)
evan
Eva
Kar Wei
Bunny
My foto stream
My aussie foto stream
Uriah

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can you hear it? =)

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