Friday, February 29, 2008
oh wells..camp going to start todae..phone managed to get it done by today.then didnt make it in time to go collect in time cus recee ran over time.man.talking about it makes me sian..
well.went to meet bin soon and the other ppl at bb campsite. when i was on my was there,it was like going to rain la. scary..but not so bad.in the bus got this chio bu stand in front of me. pheew. shews HAWT. then kept looking at her. kept looking at each other but didnt wanna get number. there's already er.someone i want =D then when i reached the sembawang, wait for bus.then it started to rain like no ones business. then i reached the place. then the rain let up.but got heavier. then after that the sky got super dark. i waited for 1 full hour!!! but the consolation was that "she" was actually messaging me and replying like super fast! man. that was like super nice sia. i was jiust hoping that they actually came later so i can message her longer =) stupid but yea. haha. then when they came, i was like oo..kk. how come got girl infront one? then i deduced. okok. thats occifer;s gal.haha. then the recee, that was supposed to be done on foot? ended up being done in a car.we went in circles like so many times. man. i pity his fuel man..then still had to go baq to work. he;s a nurse,btw. i actually wanted to be a nurse..but my friends were like NNNOOOO!!!! like i said the most retarded thing to them la. but then again.since when am i not retarded?
i dunno la..hope my phone dun hang when i go get my phone later.then gotta but the lightsticks and stuff.sigh.hope can message her later.IN CAMP.
I went off at
12:35 AM
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
sigh.phone spoilt..AGAIN!!!!! sigh.camp coming up somemore..how? sigh.in camp..hard to talk to her leh..3 days!!i mean..she aint really mine but..sigh.it hurts when i cant talk to her..though i dunno what to talk to her about, i just whip up something to talk to her about..i mean.sound retarded but hey.aint that me? well..a phone is just something that allows me to communicate with ppl..and even if i have the best phone? it aint worth nothing if you cant talk to he one that you love the most right? oh wells.
i think theres something wrong with me man..its like..self contradictory like that..though i wanna talk to her late into the night? i know she has school the next day. yea sure. i'd love to talk to her late but yet i want her to sleep..how? wanna talk to her but yet at the same time i want her to sleep.sigh.i'm repeating myself over and over again. whats wrong with me? smitten. Os. wishful thinking on my part? i mean. yea sure i confessed to her about how i feel..the whole worold know how i feel about her...twice i told her how i felt, twice i got hurt or was lost..entered the cold war twice.hurts man..i dare say this. i treat her like she is mine..but yet at the same time i know that she is not mine. what can i do? as much as i want her, i dont know if she wants to be mine.. what can i do to find out? as long as she is happy, hey.i am too.sure.it'll hurt a heck lot but.seeing her happy.yea.thats good enough for me..sigh. hope you dun see this pam..
sigh.lost, confused and out in the cold.
I went off at
11:42 PM
Friday, February 22, 2008
okok.i know my blog has been dead for awhile..hee. okok.
postings results are out..made it to etcm [ extraordinary traditional chinese medicine] NOT!]. not the coures i wanted but..still a course...contemplating enlistment..hopet he guys dun see this though..
outing coming soon.easier said than done.how? okok. i ,mean, i'm totally smitten to her. i mean like.i dunno is it wishful thinking on my part or what but..yea.sigh. well..i really dunno what was going on through my head for time when i was in sec 4.i mean..there she was.the wonderful her. i was blind enough to give her up. she waited, and so did i. sure that was 2 years ago..i was like what .sec 2? determination not there yet.now? hmmph. not even hurricane kartina can waver my determination to have her. but then again.there is something that kepps bothering me. its her os this year. from what i heard, she has a untouched heart. i dare to take up this challenge. but my fear is the fear of hurting her. with every move i make, i have to be careful not to hurt her, or seem too close for comfort.it happened once.i aint not going to let it happen again. its too big a risk for me. yea sure it took awhile for both to recover. it was a difficult time to do but well..i got over it.i hope she did too.. from what i see? i cant see anything..sigh. ever tried going out to sea without any navigational equipment? yea.thats what i'm doing now..like whta mr ng always says..walk by faith and not by sight...
she has os this year. well..i'll wait till after..
found this song..uber old.just noticed its..er.applicable =) its by elvis costello..titled she. apt right? =]
She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day
She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell
She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
I went off at
8:54 PM
