Sunday, January 18, 2009
is there a way to end all this? is this all a game of charades? a grand masquerade parade? lets just stop beating around the bush and get to the point alright?or is this the way things are supposed to be? is age a factor? but i guess its just the person eh. love me, love me not. i am who i am. love me, hate me. i do the things i do not to please anyone. say what you want. if not. go fly a kite alright? its bad enough being in the army at my age. guys my age are chasing skirts all around the place. having a financial freedom that i would not be able to enjoy for a long time to come. seeing all my friends free and doing what they want, when they want is gut wrenching enough. yea sure. i seem fine and all. but am i? temptations all around me. its going to only be a matter of time before i succumb to them either all at once, or one block at a time. stumbling or not. thats a answer only time can give me.
throwing in the towel now wont be an option. in a matter of what.5 months? i'm going to be a one year soldier with another year to go. yea it seems short. thats always the case when you see things with the perception of as the crow flies right? i pray not for a easy life but for strength to go through my life.after all. the life that i am leading is already set right? a life of solace and obliviousness. the American dream of many? but there is one factor that affects it quite a fair bit. money, in all its evil there is this glimmer of its own justice shining in its own way. a necessary evil. cant live without it, cant live with too little of it.
i look up at night when i feel the cool breeze on my skin. talking to the stars, they answered a question of mine. in its time bryant. in its time.
I went off at
10:58 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2009
its been way too long since i blogged. so yea.here goes.
travelling to and from camp is a killer. to is not that bad.its the back that murders and maims. its been a hectic week.and as usual. stuffs that you dont wanna really do is just plonked onto you and you have to jsut suck your thumb and carry on with your miserable life for the next year and a half or so. ah wells. and its a good thing that i decided to stay in camp. things at home are just.urgh. now i'm thinking. should i still sell my guard duty? or should i just do it. yea its chinese new years' eve. but so what? with a home like this.i'm better off just protecting a place. i'm really hoping to go to Germany in march. at least i'm far away from all the shots flying over and at my head. sigh. i just really wish that time would stop. but since i cant. ah wells. obliviouness suddenly became my best friend.
well.there was one thing that made this year a nice one. yesterday. finally met up with my mummy! =D tulang and lepak was almost what we did the whole day.besides.erm.that actually sums it up. aint that eonugh? haha. and bubajuba is up and erm.monkeying around =D he got a new polo tee too! the one i wore when i was working. and i actually carried a girls bag and acted like a total bimbo. sound familiar vincent? joking =] one of the more retarded things was just closing your eyes and pointing at a random mrt station to go to. well.the choices were bedok, bukit gombak, yew tee and bukit batok. from vivo. nice eh? plaza sing was the champ in the end. suntec was the final.nono.t3 was.
friday.the most "fruitful" day since i enlisted. visits and a retarded, salty and time wasting dinner. f1 pit stop.the view was nice. so was the aircon and the retarded stuffs you see your superiors do. but ah wells. the time before the dinner was funny too. with ppl throwing leaves and twigs into waterfalls and see them get stuck.together with daring one another to step inside the fountain.
and back to the emoing. its been 2 years. not counting the sec school years. plain waiting. and the rare step out. is it time to just step out and walk away? staring too long at the remote control doesnt turn the tv on. its gotta be pressed. i have. many times as a matter of fact. the tv is working. but the remote aint responding. time to throw it away and start finding a new one? yea sure.it was nice to be single. but as a matter of fact?it aint. i guess that thats how i spell life..
confused, tired, bored and crying on the inside.
I went off at
9:53 PM
