Monday, July 20, 2009
The sky is just awesome today. i guess that its a way of making things better for me.Or at least for the moment. Thanks Lord =] the awesomeness is just like how i saw it back in tekong. the lavendar sky and pink clouds. hey. who said that there were no nice scenery when you are down and out?
I guess i'm similiar to some people in many ways. A carbon copy, even. In my perspective, at least. Is it like a sequence or something? like bad, good, bad? i think i know which part of the sequence i am in. oh wells. just gotta take it in my stride i guess. what doesnt take you down only makes you stronger? heh. hope so.
I guess my life is a little like the sky. It seems beautiful at sundown. When everyone finishes what they are supposed to do for the day. the look up and go. "Hey! its a beautiful sky we have today". Unknown to some, its the pollution we spew into the sky that causes this picture perfect scene. Something that is bad actually makes some other appear beautiful. similiar aint it? It appears magnificent on the outside, but dying on the inside. yet people go. WOW. its great. if only everyday could be like this. if only my life was like this. i just gotta say. too much of a good thing can become bad. think about it. if we were to have this beautiful a sky everyday, wont it lose its greatness? it would just be a "oh well. we get it everyday' kind of a thing.
I guess we just have to remember that for every mountain, there is a higher one. For everyone who suffers, there is someone out there who suffers more than you. who are we to complain? but then again. bottling up all inside is difficult. and bad for health too. i just learnt of someones life. sure it wasnt a bed of roses, unapperciated, looked down upon and trampled upon. taken for a ride.heck it sure was not the ride of that persons life. as i was listening i was thinking. hey. its EXACTLY what i'm going through! personality's the same, heck even the career path is going to be the same! and i thought. its the sequence again. i am experiencing it and i can give a person who can be testoment to this. bad,good,bad,great, worst. but oh wells. they say that iron goes through the fire to become steel. question is. will the steel be one of good quality or one that is just thrown aside and smelted again to be reused, IN THE HOPE that it would come out good?
God just has this way of teaching us things. Chanced upon the show The Ramen Girl and i thought. hey. it kinda applies to life too! all the harsh things that are taught to us or made to do actually has a meaning to it. just that when you throw in the towel? thats when you finally understand the plan. It makes you better and prepares you for what is to come. Over-eagerness will only help you to reach your goal, but you will not feel fulfilled and in the process, you'll end up hurting the ones around you, the ones who took the pains to teach you and most of all, the ones who love you. What appears on the outside may not be what is on the inside.
Love is the thing that many people have their own take on. some practise tough love, some are more than eager to show it while others are not, and some are those silent lovers. Some may show that hey i'll love you no matter what may come, others are, you;re on your own babe. which would you prefer? sometimes, you cant have just one kind of love. you need a variety of them. just like ramen. you cant have too much of a single ingredient. you'll spoil the broth. too little and it is bland. Soup dishes are among the most difficult to prepare. you need the stock, the main ingredients, the fire and most of all. your heart. concentrate on too much of one and you will not get what you set out to do. As the consumer, all we get is the end result and the taste. when you eat with your heart, you can feel what the chef is trying to tell you. Eat with your heart and you will understand the person that prepared it.
All i have to say is. Think with your heart and not your mind. Just as my aikido sensei thought me. dont focus too much on your footwork and neglect your hands. dont look down or you will be give your opponent a chance to strike. focus. move with your heart, not your eyes. Close your eyes and move. you will feel the flow. thats what aikido is all about. a perfect harmony of push and pull. give and take. This lesson was learnt when i was taking my brown belt grading. Sure, i failed it the first time around. But armed with the lesson? I breezed throught the second one.Hey, call it cliche, but its true.
Everone deserves a second chance, right?
I went off at
7:27 PM
Friday, July 10, 2009
Why are the people i hold dear to me turn away from me just as i give them my trust? i guess that i am too naive and gullible? is it too much to ask for that you tell me what you are thinking? you tell me that yea you're with me and the next moment you do something in the total opposite? i mean, we were what.friends since barker? we even met everyday. then this? i have nothing else to say. i just pray that God blesses you.
Both my itouch and e51 got stolen. Lord, i know that you are teaching me a lesson. i have neglected you over the material posessions. i have heard you O LORD, forgive me. the things that i am going through. it hurts. alot. my time in the army, everyone sees it as though i am having the time of my life.seriously. its not. i cannot take it anymore. yet i cannot give up at this point of time. just a mere year left. God, i pray not for an easy life, but the strength to go through this phase yet again. i have prayed this prayer before, and this prayer i will pray again. the people that i face in my work place, all at least a few years my senior. all going through the same things. but please dont forget. i came into the army just after i completed my o levels and a little work experience. almost no exprience in life. and i'm thrown into this place to fend for myself. trial by fire i suppose. oh wells. it makes you stronger. thats for sure =]
staying in camp on friday. COS duty. oh wells. hahaha. seeing shane tomorro. cant wait =D
I went off at
7:44 PM
