letfeelingslead__you..all the way.and end up hurt?

2010-01-31T00:48:00.001+08:00

It hurts just to see you walk past.
It hurts to see you smile in my direction without affection.
It hurts ti know that you're here but not with me.
It hurts even more to know that you are my brother and when I shared my pain, my thoughts and my heart with you,
That you just went around me and went ahead with it. Don't you have our own target already?

You told me how much you cherish your time with her and all. Yea sure I believed you. Then she came around. I told you about how I felt. You even told me that I should go for it and all.

And now? I guess rs hust what I did before. Not with you or around you but with others I guess. Now all I can do is just sit in my little glass box and watch as the 2 of you walk happily into the sunset hand in hand.

2010-01-02T22:47:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! =D

wow. A year had just gone by. In the flash of an eye. An entire year. A year of pain, love and lessons. Time to look back, reflect and learn from our mistakes? thats the sad prt. the happy part? 6 MORE MONTHS TO ORD!!! =D

All in all. its been a year of ups and downs but hey. THATS life, ain't it? =)

2009-12-28T18:58:00.002+08:00

its been a long what. 3 to 4 years, depending on how you look at it? and i still cant bear to put it down. yea sure. i tried waiting. when i tried again. you said no. So i just took it as a sign to move on. The song stuck in my head everytime that I think of you is last christmas. Lord how appropriate it is. Looking at it. I start to think. I think that you were right in saying no. Until today, I still have this fear gripping me when i talk to you. Yet at the same time I feel happy and a warm fuzzy feeling rushes over me.

I'll suddenly smile at my phone like an idiot when i see your name pop up on my screen. my mates look at me and my superiors scold me for not doing my work. But still i try to reply with the fastest time, in a hope that you would reply. Greased up and tired, i still hope for your reply. Just wanna let you know that you are the one that keeps me going. You helped me through BMT and my vocation training.

And I just hope for this simple reply to this not so simple question. Would you help me through life ahead, with your hand in mine?

2009-12-10T17:19:00.002+08:00

As she walks past, your heart races

it threatens to jump right out of your mouth.

your legs go soft, your hands tremble and start to freeze

your world starts to blur.

suddenly the wind starts to blow and her hair is taken with the wind

you notices that she uses only one hand to keep her crowning glory down.

you wonder "why not the hand she usually uses?"

and then you see why.

her other hand is busy,

busy with another persons. Her guy's.

your heart slows down and you lose your heart

as though it fell into an abyss that was never there.

still. you cant help but notice.

boy is she gorgeous.

after all this;the time, pain and distance

you still see the sparkle in her smile every time the wind gets in her hair.

you notice her from afar.

is that her? The way she does her hair, the way she walks?

and yes. it is.

she drifts in and out of your mind when all is dark and quiet.

places, sights and sounds are somehow associated with her.

it hurts you yet makes you go on, no matter how oxymoronic it may sound.

when you're with the one you like.

like it or not, comparisons are made.

am i the only one getting this feeling of nostalgia?

2009-12-06T22:33:00.003+08:00

BACK FROM THE NORTH! though i didnt say i was even going up. haha.

went to KL for a couple of days. BIGGEST reaps ever.

1x Oakley panel back pack [my christmas wish come through! XD]

1x Oakley biking glove [another wish XD]

1x Oakley biking shorts with tights [ needed to get one. since its cheaper and it oakleys, duh!]

5x shirts

3x pants

2x jeans

many many x food!!!!! =D

gonna hit the sack. too tired to blog and i need to head off to camp in a few. sad eh? =[

2009-11-15T22:10:00.002+08:00

Obsessed with a love you cant have,

being with the one you cant be with.

an impregnable glass wall that is erected before you

you can see but cant touch it

shouting till you lose your voice

no one hears as much as a whimper

and all you can do is sit, cry and watch the world go by.

dry your tears, toughen up and wear your mask

face the world with a masqueraded bravado

show them what they want to see

look forward, think about the past and suck in the moment.

let feelings lead you;

and end up hurt?

2009-09-24T20:33:00.002+08:00

Over and over I look in your eyes
you are all I desire
you have captured me
I want to hold you
I want to be close to you
I never want to let go
I wish that this night would never end
I need to know

Could I hold you for for a lifetime
Could I look into your eyes
Could I have this night to share this night together
Could I hold you close beside me
Could I hold you for all time
Could I could I have this kiss forever
Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever

Over and over I've dreamed of this night
Now you're here by my side
You are next to me
I want to hold you and touch you taste you
And make you want no one but me
I wish that this kiss could never end
oh baby please

I don't want any night to go by
Without you by my side
I just want all my days
Spent being next to you
Lived for just loving you
And baby, oh by the way

2009-09-24T01:22:00.002+08:00

Was goin thru my aunts food pictures. not the best thing to do at 1 am in the morning when you are hungry. and i decided to make a list of all the food i wanna make before i start school. and yes, thats far away. here goes.

1. mee siam

2. Deep fried fish in sauce [ dunno what yet =] ]

3. Gung pao chicken

4. fu yong egg with sambal kangkong, no not tgt.

5. Gluten with sweet potato porridge

6.marinated pork chops

7. Beef steaks with salt and pepper seasoning

8. FRENCH ONION SOUP with garlic croutons

9. mashed butter potato

10.tuna and sesame dressing salad

11.fried noodles with egg and onions

12.omellete tuna sandwich with melted cheese

13.maggi mee goreng

14. pork/meat ball soup with ketchup and chilli-ed yellow noodles tossed with vinegar =D

15.grilled sasuages with melted enamel cheese with baked beans and garlic toast =D

16. Omellete, baked tomato, black pepper sasuage with a hot cup of chocolate, not instant.

17. Pancakes with a dallop of butter and hash browns and scrambled eggs

18.fried carrot cake!

19. Char kwa teow

20. Cold Pasta

21. Ravioli in beef/pork bolognese

...and many more.

if you want any. just ring me up and i'll gladly scoot over to your place and prepare it fresh for you. and nicer for special people =]

2009-09-23T19:43:00.004+08:00

well.its been way too long since i last blogged =/ no time i guess. anyways. lots has been happening around here already.

wallaby's a month away. and its for a period of what.3 weeks? and only God knows what will happen in that time. matters of the heart is the worst to think about and yet you cant do without them, evil world eh?

This question has been lingering on my mind for the longest time. Am I too protective of those i love? Regardless of the kind of love we share? Is that a bad thing? is that good? should i continue what i'm doing? is the vibes i'm giving off the right kind of vibes i want others to feel?

and why must everyone put up a false front? and yes you guys know who i am talking about. at times.i think that i just worry too much. why should i care? everyone just takes it the wrong way, and everyone ends up hurt.

Why should i care about you when all you do is just put me down? and yet i still care for you? i'm quite sure you dont know that i even exist anymore. the words you say. the smiles you put and laughter you project. is that your real emotions? everytime i see your name appear, i get a myraid of emotions. Happy-sad, bitter-sweet kind of a feeling. sure. you say these things behind your phone but in person?i dont know what to say or do. honestly.

That was part 1,sadly.

We knew each other for the longest time. and know you turn behind and do this? i mean.come on. the 3 letter word hangs on your your mouth, and yet you do things that are not at all befitting the word.ya sure. you have a priamry weapon and side arm. ever occured to yiou that you will only be using 1 at any given time? you may not even need your side arm if you are good enough. if you cant make up your mind, dont even draw your weapon. please dont make me do what i dont want to do. lest we become enemies and others get hurt in the process. lets all hope then when army comes knocking on our door, we'll all wake up. God speed my friend.

and thats part 2.

I have only what.10 months left? this time last year i was only in OETI starting my training. i've had 14 months since BMT. i'm so looking forward to my ORD. then i'm free. to do whatever i want, when i want. but now the thing is. where am i going? Poly or overseas? there are the pros and cons, as always. if i do poly. i will only spend 1 year overseas. and that will lead me to the question. will i be staying there to work givent he leaps an bounds over the welfare and quality of life there? and am i willing to uproot myself from this place to stay there? i mean. i already have a.no.2 relatives who went there and decided to come back despite the greener grass on the other side.

and the other thing. target in sight. Locked and loaded, awaiting order to fire. should i take the shot? should i be selfish and squeeze the hair pin trigger or hang back and analyze before taking the shot? i mean. its not a fire and forget. i'll be here for another 4 years, 3 years guaranteed. and this will link me back to the first section of my country of residence.sigh. why must it be so complicated? she has a much brighter future ahead of her. and she can get a much better person compared to me. Seriously. I seriously doubt i'm ever good enough for anyone. and yet..

The past catches up with me. looking back.it was always my fault. they say history repeats itself. Once bitten, twice shy. but then again. Failure is an event, not a person. or is it? i dare not take your heart for the fear of breaking it.

God help me.

2009-08-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

the sky above, grey and cold

just like you

over and above.

the games you play

the things you say.

whats real or not, i dare not say.

the world we face, the face we place.

the words you say and friendship we gave.

all of which, went into the grave.

whats real or not, you know the best..

i played my part, you put me with the rest.

time thats lost, can never be regained.

"cover up!" they say

we sprint and run. but we're bogged down by the sands of time.

Learn to read between the lines.

there are 2 sides to a line, as there are 2 sides to a story.

What you hear is never always what its meant.

tread lightly and you will not fall.

I just cant take it anymore.

army.

friends.

family.

life.

I just cant take it any more. i want to just want to end it all.

Close my eyes and let the wind take me away.

God.Help me. I'm crying out. but no one hears me.

I can only go on like this for so long.

Its a matter of time before i do what i have been trying to avoid.

Please take me home. I just want to be with you.

away from all this pain and hurt and lone survival.

2009-08-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

today.off in lieu. didnt do what i wanted to do.thanks to the ever accurate and ever changing weather report of singapore's weather stations.but one nice thing was that it was a cool 25 this morning. best part? when i went to buy my food. i thought it wont rain. or might hold out till i got home. lo and behold. it poured while i was queuing to get my food. had to go back in the rain. then just lepak the day away. slaps!

2009-08-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

ahh.off days =D got my bike. FINALLY. Specialized hardrock sport. not spelling error =] clocked 130 km so far. haha. but stupid thing is. many injuries too. one was. no. TWO. involved my eh. family jewel. stupid people no eyes to look one i tell you. its a cycling track for crying out loud. and they walk like its their fathers road. left, right left right. cannot brake in time, jam my front brake. and rear. DISC BRAKE. effing efficient. whole bike flew upwards. cue shocked and apologetic pedestrian face. the one i remeber the most. a Indian kid. just ran across the road. jam my brake. the rear of my bike flew.and i mean literally flew up. it reached my head. i flew forward. but thank God the little kiddo was ok. the father was like sorry sorry. was tempted to just Fk him but like.forget it. wont take the pain away. so just went on clutching the eh. ____s. and another was while helping this girl fix her front derailuer. the rear tyre cut my left forearm while i lifted the bike and spun the crank. hurt like shyte. but tahan ah. then she was like. OMG are you ok? like.litereally OMG. cue thankful and guilty face with jealous boyfriend look. yes. they boyfriend was there. tgt with a group of guys trying to jio her.and cue trying to help but dunno what to do yet wanna impress her look and actions. and when i was done she was thank you thank you. just rode off looking garang. reach the end og changi beach, flinch. hahaha. and my presperation on it doesnt make it any better. oh wells. till today the scalp remains.

today. went to meet jag and cycle east coast. while waiting for him. cycled around. helped this ABC girl pick up her hat. she was blading. and she was like. thanks so much. didnt expect it to fly off. and i'm new so i dont know how to brake yet, so embarrasing. i replied no worries.haha.have fun. and rode off. nice accent though. haha. then we cycled east coast and eneded with subway. ohoh. and on my way to ECP there was like this guy racing or rather. trying to race me. fed up. up gear all the way and just voomed past him. then slow down, down gear let him pass and hear him pant. non challantly gear up and cycle past him with the littlest effort. looked back and saw him back away. aleoca vs specialized. not showing off but just to quote my biking buddy " Its like a lancer trying to race and audi!" he was refering to my other buddy's challenge for both quoter and me to a race. on the same strectch of road.

got burnt today =/

2009-07-20T19:27:00.003+08:00

The sky is just awesome today. i guess that its a way of making things better for me.Or at least for the moment. Thanks Lord =] the awesomeness is just like how i saw it back in tekong. the lavendar sky and pink clouds. hey. who said that there were no nice scenery when you are down and out?

I guess i'm similiar to some people in many ways. A carbon copy, even. In my perspective, at least. Is it like a sequence or something? like bad, good, bad? i think i know which part of the sequence i am in. oh wells. just gotta take it in my stride i guess. what doesnt take you down only makes you stronger? heh. hope so.

I guess my life is a little like the sky. It seems beautiful at sundown. When everyone finishes what they are supposed to do for the day. the look up and go. "Hey! its a beautiful sky we have today". Unknown to some, its the pollution we spew into the sky that causes this picture perfect scene. Something that is bad actually makes some other appear beautiful. similiar aint it? It appears magnificent on the outside, but dying on the inside. yet people go. WOW. its great. if only everyday could be like this. if only my life was like this. i just gotta say. too much of a good thing can become bad. think about it. if we were to have this beautiful a sky everyday, wont it lose its greatness? it would just be a "oh well. we get it everyday' kind of a thing.

I guess we just have to remember that for every mountain, there is a higher one. For everyone who suffers, there is someone out there who suffers more than you. who are we to complain? but then again. bottling up all inside is difficult. and bad for health too. i just learnt of someones life. sure it wasnt a bed of roses, unapperciated, looked down upon and trampled upon. taken for a ride.heck it sure was not the ride of that persons life. as i was listening i was thinking. hey. its EXACTLY what i'm going through! personality's the same, heck even the career path is going to be the same! and i thought. its the sequence again. i am experiencing it and i can give a person who can be testoment to this. bad,good,bad,great, worst. but oh wells. they say that iron goes through the fire to become steel. question is. will the steel be one of good quality or one that is just thrown aside and smelted again to be reused, IN THE HOPE that it would come out good?

God just has this way of teaching us things. Chanced upon the show The Ramen Girl and i thought. hey. it kinda applies to life too! all the harsh things that are taught to us or made to do actually has a meaning to it. just that when you throw in the towel? thats when you finally understand the plan. It makes you better and prepares you for what is to come. Over-eagerness will only help you to reach your goal, but you will not feel fulfilled and in the process, you'll end up hurting the ones around you, the ones who took the pains to teach you and most of all, the ones who love you. What appears on the outside may not be what is on the inside.

Love is the thing that many people have their own take on. some practise tough love, some are more than eager to show it while others are not, and some are those silent lovers. Some may show that hey i'll love you no matter what may come, others are, you;re on your own babe. which would you prefer? sometimes, you cant have just one kind of love. you need a variety of them. just like ramen. you cant have too much of a single ingredient. you'll spoil the broth. too little and it is bland. Soup dishes are among the most difficult to prepare. you need the stock, the main ingredients, the fire and most of all. your heart. concentrate on too much of one and you will not get what you set out to do. As the consumer, all we get is the end result and the taste. when you eat with your heart, you can feel what the chef is trying to tell you. Eat with your heart and you will understand the person that prepared it.

All i have to say is. Think with your heart and not your mind. Just as my aikido sensei thought me. dont focus too much on your footwork and neglect your hands. dont look down or you will be give your opponent a chance to strike. focus. move with your heart, not your eyes. Close your eyes and move. you will feel the flow. thats what aikido is all about. a perfect harmony of push and pull. give and take. This lesson was learnt when i was taking my brown belt grading. Sure, i failed it the first time around. But armed with the lesson? I breezed throught the second one.Hey, call it cliche, but its true.

Everone deserves a second chance, right?

2009-07-10T19:44:00.002+08:00

Why are the people i hold dear to me turn away from me just as i give them my trust? i guess that i am too naive and gullible? is it too much to ask for that you tell me what you are thinking? you tell me that yea you're with me and the next moment you do something in the total opposite? i mean, we were what.friends since barker? we even met everyday. then this? i have nothing else to say. i just pray that God blesses you.

Both my itouch and e51 got stolen. Lord, i know that you are teaching me a lesson. i have neglected you over the material posessions. i have heard you O LORD, forgive me. the things that i am going through. it hurts. alot. my time in the army, everyone sees it as though i am having the time of my life.seriously. its not. i cannot take it anymore. yet i cannot give up at this point of time. just a mere year left. God, i pray not for an easy life, but the strength to go through this phase yet again. i have prayed this prayer before, and this prayer i will pray again. the people that i face in my work place, all at least a few years my senior. all going through the same things. but please dont forget. i came into the army just after i completed my o levels and a little work experience. almost no exprience in life. and i'm thrown into this place to fend for myself. trial by fire i suppose. oh wells. it makes you stronger. thats for sure =]

staying in camp on friday. COS duty. oh wells. hahaha. seeing shane tomorro. cant wait =D

What's the worst that could happen eh

2009-06-28T00:06:00.001+08:00

I guess the title says it all, doesn't it? I got my phone stolen, my family hates me, the one in my heart. Let's just say that's there's more than meets the eye. I'm heading back to camp this wednesday. I recokon I'll just stay in camp and not book out. At least in there I need not face the things that hurt me so much.
They say that the one who lobes you will stand by you mo matter what hapens. I'll testoment to that saying that it is not in the very least true. Will you standby the personyou love most? Standing by the person through the storms of life. Carrying herthrough it all. How do you do so without the person knowing your true feelings toward the one in your heart? You try your beat to do what pleases the person. When you try your best to arrange an outing with your dearest, only to be shot down like a skeet in a shooting competition.
Is perseverance the cause of sorrow or the fomula to a happily ever after? Only one person has the answer to this question.
Masks. Are they as good as try are supposed to be or are they just another double edged sword? Until I have the answer I'll just continue wearing mine. I thank God that No one can see through it yet. And I pray that No one will ever be able to.
What's the worst that could happen.

2009-06-15T00:58:00.001+08:00

Stumbled on this photo while webbing. Was looking at the jigsaw for an hour or so? those of you who know me long or well enough will know the story of this picture, and the origin of the jigsaw. thanks mystery person! =]

2009-06-13T01:24:00.002+08:00

Was just looking through my melbourne trip photos. man do i miss the land down under. There are places that i would love to revisit. Take another walk down the yarra river or perhaps just return to do some shopping. Best of all, enjoy the fine weather they have, in winter, that is.

Went through my cousins photos too. Looking at them in the Business class lounge. and the seats in the business class. when i travel next time, it'll only be first class i tell you. if i go overseas to study, it'll be business. at least for just the exp.

6 months into 2009. 13 more months till ORD. sounds short? heh. i hope it would be. and now, my left leg is giving me problems. having another MRI scan next friday. hope eveything is well. i pai ka on one leg already. thats enough for me. 5 months to heal leh!

and its not fully healed too!

oh wells. hope that everything will be back on track. will it? is it?

facing it with a smile =]

2009-05-20T23:01:00.003+08:00

yup.i've decided. its nursing for me. if possible, even mbbs. but i aint that smart, and i dont have enough money for that. reason for that? once i finish my degree in nursing, i'm joining medicine without borders or the Médecins Sans Frontières. but the sad thing is, they have no office in singapore =[ so cannot work from here =[ nearest is Australia. Oh wells. better than nothing.

leg is getting worse. dunno whats wrong also.

2009-05-09T01:04:00.002+08:00

its funny how things just throw themselves at you. is that how our life should be? is that how the remainder of the road will be?

Looking up at the sky, nursing a cold beer in his hand, he asked the stars a simple question. is this what i am supposed to go through? he looked onto the horizon and sipped his beer. he got off the bench and walked down the beach, letting the waves lick at his feet, calloused by the fires of life. The cool water relives his worries temperorily. The gentle swashing sounds calming his confused and hurt heart. Kicking the water around, thoughts of just leaving this place he calls home drifts in and out of his delirious, lost and confused mind. Home. Is it really a home? Or is it just a house? A shell or place that caters to his primal needs of shelter, food and water?

Seperations and connections. Love and hate. Friends and lovers. Fire to ash. Every good thing has to come to an end. or do they?

words. can they really express what is going on in the heart and mind of a person? or are some emotions, thoughts and feelings just beyond the grasp of any language?

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" This quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson. It is one quote that i hope NEVER have to experience. At least not with the ones i hold dear to my heart, and close to home.

2009-05-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

went for physio today. good and bad. good cus i managed to somewhat get a internship with sgh physio dept. thanks to my physiotherapist esther! *clap clap* thanks again esther!

bad because the tendon infront of my kneecap and at the back around my knee is like..tender. and thats one thing that you do not want to be tender. end up have to write note to dr. denny my spec, to see what he must do or can do. hopefully dun need to do another surgery. pain like crazy can. good in a way that at least can have no more pain. NOT ANYTHING ElSE. i know what you thinking. haha.

hoping that everythings ok when i see the doc. the more excersices i do, the more pain i feel. end up cut down on excersices. heng ah..next thing is got review. with MO then medical board. scally up pes ah. i LL ah.

till then..

2009-04-26T23:54:00.002+08:00

i'm.dying.of.boredom. theres nothing to do at home. i cant go out. my coms my best friend. the trees are my soulmates and the fan is my darling. although it'll be much better if my darling was real la. sigh. MY OAKLEYS GOT SCRATCHED. sigh

oh and free coke was being distributed ast tampines today, according to my mom. sweet move and F&N. given that saturday was marder hot. hot until i bathed 5 times. in cold water! but the cold water was warm -_-. the heater was off. sian la.

i wanna go poly...not army... ='[

2009-04-22T22:13:00.003+08:00

nnb. mc is like a warrant for house arrest sia. i mean like wth. calling 3 times a day to check if i'm home? i'm not that cheap as to go out.my leg is injured.i cant walk much.hell i dont even want to walk doen to the market much less go shop!

People have a acronym for this kind of thing. W.T.F. urgh. i cant say much. or rather i'm not ALLOWED to. lest something happens or unique characters pay me a home visit to "check on how i am recovering" chinese opera. translate that to malay and you'll know what i mean.

Seeing And Finishing. its a acronym all are familiar with. many say its all a love-hate relationship.i'm quite sure the hate is the centre of this relationship. ever went into a relationship with someone you had a crush on just to find out that the perfect person is actually the devil incarnate who actually tormented almost 2 to 3 million males regardless of race, language or religion?i'm in one now. and this unique lover is one who loves CHINESE OPERA. do you like the traditional art of wayang wayang? this is a art that is appericiated in the Song And Foreplay academy found on our sunny island.

Serve And Fuck off. thats what i'm waiting for. when will my ORDer come?

2009-04-22T00:59:00.002+08:00

blogs been dead for awhile now. time to give it cpr? though i doubt that it can resusitate it. haha.

anyways, i think that theres either something wrong with my phone or the network. when i send a message out, it either fails to send or that the other party doesnt recieve it. sigh. when i thought that it was due to either tekong or gedong. guess thats not the case now eh.

i'm dying of boredom at home now that almost everyone is back in school and i am left to rot and squel around in pain. for some God forsaken reason my knee is acting up. its almost as painful as the post op period and also swollen again. But thank God that i can walk without crutches. its hell walking with them. thats only at home. A whole lot worse when i have to go down and buy my food when no one is at home.

for now.i dont know if i am actually lokoing forward to ORD. 1 is that i dont think i would be going overseas. which was the primary reason for my early enlistment. if i knew that i would be going to poly i would have just left the army when i stll was in tekong. if i left now, i would have wasted my what.10 months? gee, the time i spent serving only dawned on me when i was doing upo this post. 14 more months to go. Back to the topic.

the other option that i have is to take up a study loan from my moms company and then pay it off slowly when i go into the workforce or 2. study in poly and save up then do a degree. the former sounds much more attractive.

nursing in a poly in singapore as compared to aussie is not a east and a west but rather has their own strenghts. weakness is not a word i would use in this comparison. Singapore's strenght is that they provide a longer intership with the hospitals. i also get to move around the different departments and get to experience different aspects of hopsital and nursing life. Australia has a longer history of nursing in their faculties. the theory offered in both educational nations are roughly the same, though one has a histroy of producing one of the top few batches of nurses that the world has seen and experienced.

Studying in Singapore would be less financially painful cus the school fees are what. $2k a year? As compared to Australia, its easily A$15 k for metric and A$25 for uni? thats not inculding accomodaiton and food!

Singapore is where i grew up. its not a foriegn land for me. Whereas Australia is. A new life, culture, WEATHER, lifestyle, friends and environment is just the beginning of a never ending list of new. Independence is not much of a worry for me thanks to the stint in the army.

all in all. the desicion is yet to be made. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

I'm sticking with THE BEST IS YET TO BE.

2009-03-17T00:24:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

omg.

2009-03-16T23:20:00.002+08:00

went for soem international seafood dinner on saturday afternoon. didnt taste that nice afterall.so much hype.but the abolone was nice. cod was too.but that kinda sums it up. i wont go on about how bad the food was because hey.its only waht.20 bucks per person? went to shop at parkway but nah.nothing much.

went back to barker to meet bin soon and the rest for dinner.but reached early.parade was still going on. went back during drill. the look on the faces on the boys faces was priceless when they saw me walking towards them. they were like *gasp! its bryant! dont move dont move!* i nearly laughed. then the inevitable 'sedi ya can move is it?!' came out and they stood straighter than the lamp posts behind them. then the chats came about and they were relieved when they found out that i was not who i was before i went into the army.hahaha. but it felt good to command a squad instead of the usul being commanded in the army.but then again.knowing how it feels to kena tekan.i doubt i will ever tekan my boys again.haha.

went for dinner wiht bin soon at the republic of singaproe yatch club. the food was fabulous i tell you. there was cold platters, roast beef, ppork ribs, bratwurst sasuages, pasta, rice, ox tails, seafood in cheese sause, seasonal veggies, other mains that i forgot, chowder and tomato soups, breads and rolls, bread pudding and vanilla sause, cheese and black forest cakes, and other puffs and the icing on the cake? chocolate fondue. to top it all of, the view was simply to die for. the sound of waves crashing onto the pontoons and the boats and the view of the setting sun in the background. after dinner. we headed down to the harbour for a stroll, and yes, its all guys. pity aint it? but after being in a all guys environment for 10 years and another 2 in the army, it get routine.so yea. didnt get to go onboard bin soon's boat though..but the shaw brothers' boat was there.it was MAJESTIC. beautiful hardly discribes it.

after dinner was...yup.cant say much.or rather.wont say =]

2009-02-26T01:11:00.001+08:00

i know its been forever since i blogged.haha. ah wells. my ops this friday. i'm scared..i'm anxious.

I FINALLY GOT MY N76 =D nothing more. haha

2009-01-18T22:58:00.002+08:00

is there a way to end all this? is this all a game of charades? a grand masquerade parade? lets just stop beating around the bush and get to the point alright?or is this the way things are supposed to be? is age a factor? but i guess its just the person eh. love me, love me not. i am who i am. love me, hate me. i do the things i do not to please anyone. say what you want. if not. go fly a kite alright? its bad enough being in the army at my age. guys my age are chasing skirts all around the place. having a financial freedom that i would not be able to enjoy for a long time to come. seeing all my friends free and doing what they want, when they want is gut wrenching enough. yea sure. i seem fine and all. but am i? temptations all around me. its going to only be a matter of time before i succumb to them either all at once, or one block at a time. stumbling or not. thats a answer only time can give me.

throwing in the towel now wont be an option. in a matter of what.5 months? i'm going to be a one year soldier with another year to go. yea it seems short. thats always the case when you see things with the perception of as the crow flies right? i pray not for a easy life but for strength to go through my life.after all. the life that i am leading is already set right? a life of solace and obliviousness. the American dream of many? but there is one factor that affects it quite a fair bit. money, in all its evil there is this glimmer of its own justice shining in its own way. a necessary evil. cant live without it, cant live with too little of it.

i look up at night when i feel the cool breeze on my skin. talking to the stars, they answered a question of mine. in its time bryant. in its time.

2009-01-11T21:53:00.002+08:00

its been way too long since i blogged. so yea.here goes.

travelling to and from camp is a killer. to is not that bad.its the back that murders and maims. its been a hectic week.and as usual. stuffs that you dont wanna really do is just plonked onto you and you have to jsut suck your thumb and carry on with your miserable life for the next year and a half or so. ah wells. and its a good thing that i decided to stay in camp. things at home are just.urgh. now i'm thinking. should i still sell my guard duty? or should i just do it. yea its chinese new years' eve. but so what? with a home like this.i'm better off just protecting a place. i'm really hoping to go to Germany in march. at least i'm far away from all the shots flying over and at my head. sigh. i just really wish that time would stop. but since i cant. ah wells. obliviouness suddenly became my best friend.

well.there was one thing that made this year a nice one. yesterday. finally met up with my mummy! =D tulang and lepak was almost what we did the whole day.besides.erm.that actually sums it up. aint that eonugh? haha. and bubajuba is up and erm.monkeying around =D he got a new polo tee too! the one i wore when i was working. and i actually carried a girls bag and acted like a total bimbo. sound familiar vincent? joking =] one of the more retarded things was just closing your eyes and pointing at a random mrt station to go to. well.the choices were bedok, bukit gombak, yew tee and bukit batok. from vivo. nice eh? plaza sing was the champ in the end. suntec was the final.nono.t3 was.

friday.the most "fruitful" day since i enlisted. visits and a retarded, salty and time wasting dinner. f1 pit stop.the view was nice. so was the aircon and the retarded stuffs you see your superiors do. but ah wells. the time before the dinner was funny too. with ppl throwing leaves and twigs into waterfalls and see them get stuck.together with daring one another to step inside the fountain.

and back to the emoing. its been 2 years. not counting the sec school years. plain waiting. and the rare step out. is it time to just step out and walk away? staring too long at the remote control doesnt turn the tv on. its gotta be pressed. i have. many times as a matter of fact. the tv is working. but the remote aint responding. time to throw it away and start finding a new one? yea sure.it was nice to be single. but as a matter of fact?it aint. i guess that thats how i spell life..

confused, tired, bored and crying on the inside.

2008-12-28T22:43:00.003+08:00

ah wells.christmas ended lo.now its the new year in a weeks time.so yea.christmas was not bad. bros came over to my place for dinner on eve.played monopoly with the electronic bank till like 0115hrs where jag took a cab back..$31 sia..went out with my HK friends..went geylang.not for chicken.but the claypot rice.haha.next day was alone..everyone went to bintan without me..couldnt get exit permit =[ then yea lo.top of post say what we did le. had dinner for like the first time at gavins house? its a real scary exp. i was like clutching something that cant be typed here real tight.not literally of course.. his dad is.scarier than jumping down a bungee without the rope..haha.so yea.

went out the next day to play battlefield and went steamboat! we ate for like 3 hours. the amount of food we had was unbelievable. 2 jugs of lime juice and loads of soup was what we had to quench our thirst and relieve ourselves of the spiciness. the ma la soup is really. brrr. dont get it.thats the bottom line.haha met my parents at some street opposite bras besah. forgot what it was. then went to the night safari with my hk friends and saw a huge mountain of people there.looked like as if there was free entry or something.ended up going to the flyer and esplanade to take pics...then went home after that. but i had to go back to gavins to get my bag and lappy..cabbed back with sai after that..so yea

woke up at 8 today to have brekky with them. went to suntec after that cus they wanted to take the ducktours..we didnt go.cus i took it at a place where i lost my hair before.engine smell and sound not nice.. so yea.we had a snack while waiting for them.the bread was.mmmmm. but the dim sum was extortion! just har kao and spare ribs $7.50! but anyways...waited for them then went for lunch..walked around the fountain of wealths' food area once then decided on some imperial treasures.food was not bad but nothing to rave about..so yea.went to the airport after that and sent them off so yea. sorry didnt elaborate much,sleepy la.. so if you wanna know more. msg me. if your dont know how to get me..tag me =D

2008-12-10T19:34:00.002+08:00

must i really go abroad to study?afterall.it does need a whole lot of money.. and nursing.doesn need to necessarily be read overseas right? sigh. whats with all this feelings and thoughts.i did decided what to do. can i? i'm jsut afraid that.sigh. i got no idea. why cant things jsut be simple? yes or no.is it really that hard? auzzie. sg. army. life. her. everything adds up. ARGGHHHHH.

2008-12-09T23:28:00.002+08:00

Laying his head on his pillow, millions of things went through his mind. all but 2 thoughts were filtered through his now blank mind.

Her and the road that lay ahead. inspite of all thats happening, things thats going through his head, there was a throbbing pain in both his knee and ankle. the one thing that kept bugging him was connected to the next. will what his next move be affect his future? Afterall, it was what pushed him on when he was down,out and didnt know what to do.

As time and things went on, he began to wonder if what he did was right. if what he did was worth what he was doing and if it was even going anywhere. was it all a one-sided affair? was it going to be reciprocated? or the one thing that he had been toying about in his mind. just fuck it.

In 2 years time, he was leaving the place he calls home for a good 3 to 5 years. Returning only once in a blue moon, contact with his loved once would be over the airwaves and perhaps with the technological advancements, video. in a home away from home, maintaing many things is not going to be easy. know thine enemy and win every battle. how is that possible when you cant even be clear who your ally is? much less your enemy?

2 ways that this could go. the selfish way and the way that was going to hurt. he could just continue the thing he does.hes been doing it to the point that its more or less routine. the second is just to let everything go and take everything as it comes. after all.it does seem like a lost cause to him.

was it a punishment for what he did the year before? the actions he did before that. was it the way he dealt with people? allowing them to be lulled into a false state of emotions before doing the thing that was the worst? perhaps what goes around comes around. if he only he could turn back time, he would take back the words he said and pluck up the courage to say what he wanted to. Chiding himself, he thought. if he DID say what he did. Would things change? would things be a in a better state than they are now? if he had not held back. what would have happened would be what he is seeing right now with another of his friends. was it a good idea? or was it one that he should have just plucked up his courage and went with his heart, not his mind?

As his mind left him for the happy hunting ground, this thought hung on him. just let it go. its better that way.
or is it?

2008-12-05T23:05:00.002+08:00

guess what?my dad's back in town so yea.at least there will be someone home.not seeing only the walls and stuffs no more.but the thing is..nothing!haha. ah wells.

the specialist i saw at cgh kinda freaked me out.he said he couldn see what was wrong with my leg and had to call his boss to seee what was wrong.and she also couldn see.and had to wait for my mri.attend c for another 7 days and light duties till like.next year.oh wells.

i know what will make me feel like way better.a reply.from the mystic one.just one will do man. i;m not greedy a person.but ah wells. life has to go on.just that it anit gonna be as good. just seeing that 6 alphabets pop up on my phone will so totally make my day.sigh. is it something i said before somewhere? or what? but ah wells.whats done is done. why cant we humans be nice and smart at the same time.life is just so unfair.cant have what you want. suck thumb lo.

seeing the sunrise and set everyday makes me just wanna spen one whole day at the beach and watch life go past.it'll be the best if mystique will be with me.if.

2008-12-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

URGH.i injured my leg damn badly.marder cow.parents not in town.no money.stupid MO see already as good as not seeing. Charlie Brown.i look like some pirate now la.limping around with a crutch.yes,not a pair.using a pair is super tin te. oh wells.suck thumb.cannot attned c anymore. OOC lo if i take mc again. sighs. rested at home.thanks to jaggy and gavin who baby sitted me and of course my grands =] leg got better while i rested but got worse when i got back to camp and it was as bad as when i first got injured. oh wells.

life alone is like..good and bad.haha.goota learn i guess. gotta learn to settle loads of stuffs. ah wells.I WANNA ORD!!!!can one of my friends like.have something happen or something? hahhaha.joking joking.not that a bastard. gonna pass out from OETI soon..sungei gedong.but how to do oje like that?? suck thumb lo.LL lo.. dunno what else to blog about. so.byebye =]

2008-11-22T20:06:00.002+08:00

There was this boy who was loved by all of his family members. his parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles. he was one who had everything that he wanted. be it a meal of fast food or an item as big as a car. when the time came for him to take up his arms and show that he was a man. from boys to men.

That was what went thorugh everyones mind in his country. on the surface, yes, he was one without a doubt. but. on the inside. he is a boy. a boy who was a total bastard. that fact was not seen by anyone else in his family exepct one on a cold, dark rainy day. there was no one around and he was just going about doing his own stuff. there was a lot on his mind that day. there was laundry to be done, floors to be mopped and housework to be tended to. as he finished his lunch and went online, the door bell rang. looking through the peep hole, the cursed under his breath as he reached for the keys to open the door. he forced a smile on his face as he greeted his grandmother. as the gate opened and she took off her shoes, "please say that you are leaving soon" went through his mind. on the contrary, she went in and placed her bag that went everywhere with her onto the table. He lost his temper and flared up at the loving and caring person who just wanted to see her beloved grandson and ensure that he was safe, well and fed.

Despite the rain and cold blowing winds, she braved them just to deliver his dinner, together with her own. Yet without another thought, he blasted at her with "why did you come today?! didt i tell you that i wanted to be alone?!" she replied "i just wanted to see that you were well and deliver your dinner at the same time" with a chock in her voice, as she took out 2 packets of food. it was only later that he realised that the other packet was meant for her own consumption. "I know that you love me and stuff but i am ok! i am old enough to look after myself! i just wanna be alone so that i can do my things ok?!" with her eyes welling up, she replied with "but i just wanted to see that you were ok.you are my grandson.the one that i love."

Upon seeing the tears in her eyes, he felt a pinch in his heart and cursed at himself. she even replied that she would be leaving now since he didnt want her around. being a guy, he had his ego and said that she should stay till the rain had subsided. as a unselfish act of love, she insisted on leaving giving an excuse that she had things to. Guilt immediately reached into the depths of his heart. imploring her to stay, she reached for her bag and shoes, without even taking an umbrella. seeing that she only had a little paper bag that she claimed would be sheltered with it. as she neared the door, he rushed forward and closed it before rushing to grab the first umbrella he could reach. he had offered to shelter her to the bus stop which she promptly rejected. labeling himself as a bastard already, he opended the door, grabbed his wallet and led the other woman who cared for him the most besides his mother. though the umbrella was small, he sheltered her alone and made sure that she was dry, despite having half of his body getting drenched. they reached the bus stop. she was dry, but though he was wet, he made sure that she did not see the wet part of his body.

Although she had said that she was taking a taxi, she turned around and said it was the bus that she would be taking. Feeling worst off than before, he went forward to hail a cab but was promptly waved away by her. offering her the umbrella, she said no and sent the one boy that she loved with all her heart away. walking back home after a heated, painful and failed persuasion, he cursed at himself for doing what he just did that afternoon. walking in the rain with a closed umbrella in his hand, he cursed himself and scolded him self with tears streaming down his cheeks. he prayed like he never did before for the rain to stop and for the bus to arrive soon. thoughts of her selfish acts of love flashed across his mind as he sat down. looking on the table, he saw 2 packets of food. it then struck him that the second packet was hers. she sacrificed it knowing that there was nothing left to at home. as he ran into the kitchen he saw that the bowl he had used for breakfast was already filled with water, ready to be washed. guilt overwhelmed him as he reached for the phone. and explained the reason for asking her to go home. he did not want her to be troubled by moving around the house as he cleaned it. worst, he did not want her to slip on the wet floor. not letting her hurt show, she said that she understood and praised him for being such a thoughtful boy. however, he knew that what she said was true, but she was hiding her true feelings inside. As he wrote an entry in his diary, wet patches began to form on the page..

yes,the person is me. the biggest bastard person alive. the most selfish person to ever walk this earth. the one person who cannot think properly.

worse than bush. worse than anyone alive. why did i do what i did? was there not a easier way to do things?she was the one who stood by me through everything. she was the one who helped me through the times when i needed it the most. she was the one who came to me with something to brighten up my mood when i was ill. yet. when a simple thought of a visit to see how i was doing ended up as one that would portray hurt. pain. disappointment. and a total and indiscriminant act of self love. wanting only what i want. time. staying up just to ensure that i was home safe was a thought of love. yet it went un-thanked.

2008-11-13T10:22:00.002+08:00

anyone here notices how fast time passes?Its been 4 coming to 5 months since I enlisted..and now, the big O is over for my friends and others =] well.moving on to other stuffs, it just dawned into me that I am going to be passig out from OETI in less than a month! Then it's onto the super ulu sungei gedong ='[ I'm gonna be missing my freedom..yea I know that I wanted to stay in at first but what to do.sigh.2 years leh!!wanna go out also no want Liao.sigh.how sia.presidents man.can do not?I wanna go for it but will my superiors allow not? If they say yes at first but then later they say no I LL suck thumb. Fall sick after guard duty.sian.flu due to rain..no gore tex.

2008-09-10T15:07:00.002+08:00

what can i say.or rather.what CAN i say? i'm in ns.what CAN i do? this is me.love me for who i am.or what i do for that matter.if you cant.i have nothing to say.what will happen? i'm the cause of all this.i know.its not like i dont want the best for you.finish of what i started.where it began it shall end? there are times that i just want to stay in camp and run away from the harsh realities of life.i just dont want to say this but i cant take it no more.i find peace in camp.the quietness and the worry free environment that i live in.no worries about food, money, time and any other thing. the people around me is the ones that went through shit with me. i hate to say it but they were the ones who were with me when i really needed someone when things outside came to my ears in camp. its not easy to do all this in camp. knowing that you can do something but not being able to do anything. so near yet so far. i'm trying my best to do all that i can.can you not see it? the post that i do when i come out is emo. what else can i say? the bryant you see on the outside is not me. everything that i came to love is falling apart. i dare not tell anyone. who WILL listen?even if they do.hope for me is beginning to fray.i just have God to thank that most of my time is spent in camp.after all.when i'm training.nothing is on my mind. its just muscle memory.my mind is dead. revelations.they can be good or bad.NOT purely depending on how you take it.but how it affects you indefinitely. conscious or not.it affects you. when you know it.you try not to let the people around you know your pain.what can i say or do.to make things right again.to what they were like before? dear God.please help me.i'm at a lost.

crying on the inside,masked on the outside

2008-09-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

fuck.i swear.i am not booking out at the next chance.why must it be me tm be the one who gets all this shit.sigh.i guess life is like this.and when i'm in army somemore.some how.tekong seems more like a home to me.i'm sorry but.ya.

2008-07-21T23:57:00.003+08:00

19 july

this post is back dated so yea.

celebration of my dad's bdae and my send off.

went for BB cares in the morning. woke up late and found out xavier late also. went for bb cares.nothing much la.*scenery* also not nice. then managed to get bin soon down too.basket la.didnt manage to get him for the past few weeks.went home and saw shane and ecli!!they are super cute!! they played with the guns and then run around.ecli call shane tor tor.aka kor kor.haha.waited for sai, hari and jag to come with dads pressie.signed it and while signing it we got the pressie from my aunt in auzzie. then we walked in to cut the ~~cake~~ agar agar for his bdae.my frens and i just went on to sing the song in chinese, english, malay, tamil and of course, cantonese. then we ate it =D lunch was buffet noodles, curry chicken, noodles, vege, kong ba pau, ngoh hiang and ha jiong gai. hehheh.played laser tag after that.but the guard came and told us to stop.but he was our fren la.he said that the residents were scared cus we were clad in our black uni and balacalva.with guns running around the shop.we took it as a complement that we were intimidating so yea.mission accomplished.haha

all left and then we went baq to our place..they ended up taunting.we were home and everyone took turns to bathe.duh.so smelly. then we all went for dinner. we took over almost most of the kopitiam la. then the aunty who took the order for the drink had to come with a piece of paper to take orders. food and drinks came and so did the food.we were like.s uber huge group la. we ate and there was a extra bee hoon goreng and one of the boys wanted it.didnt expect it to be so spicy.inorder to finish it, we played a old skool game and the loser had to take one scoop.the poor boy ended up eating the bulk of it. we helped him after he could not take it anymore.haha.then while eating they all decided to taunt since hit midnight fare already. so we went to 7-11 to get our food and stuff.then my uncle offered to get us drinks.so get lo.and no, its not the normal ones, if you get my drift. then went home and we started talking la. then kenny, jag, kar wei, gavin and i went down to talk and drink.played a drinking game.kar wei drank the most. jag didnt like it.haha.then they went up while kenny, jag and i stayed to talk.when we got back up, they were all playing cs.it looked like a lan shop la. haha.played till 730 in the morning before we knocked out. some left while others stayed.had to wakey to help dad at a balloon twisting class.at 1 degree 15 on sentosa. so yea.then met aunt and uncle for dinner. and yep.met aunty dot.kena scolding.pon church too long.haha. so yea.thats bout it.

2008-07-21T23:38:00.003+08:00

i noe that my blog heas been date for a while but oh wells.hahaha. okok. todae was just crazy.was supposed to meet my fren.so went out and when i reached the interchange, i remembered that i had cancelled it -_- ended up taking the same bus home that i came out in.haha.stupid rain la. home then packed my room.unbelievable but yes, i did. met calida and joanna for dinner..at sinpang. and i got my 7 months old christmas pressie.SORWIE CALIDA AND JOANNA =[ and to thoase of you that made him zoro at church..you'll experience my wrath at church..if i go back..btw, thats why i didnt get my pressie.and his name is dong gong. a grenn alien thingy, we concluded.his girl is gracity.loves her so much that he is ATTRACTED to her.and she is 6-billion timing. grrr.made joanna laugh so much that i think we both went high.haha.if i gave you tummyache, sorwie =[ reached simpang and didnt see calida.she was studying but it would be a miracle that anyone can study there.called her but no one answer thenwent to find her.walked and then bumped into her and she looked like the whole world owed her a prata or something.haha.finally sat down and kena suan.39 calls in morning.sorry la..haha. gong gong.thought i talking bout kangkong.haha.thats how dong gong got his name. while talking the ppl kept coming to us asking us to order.like scared we order from someone else.but the thing is they just call each other when they dun have.whats the diff?!everytime we tell them wait, another one comes.and the same guy comes back.its like we have a neon sign saying that we haven ordered.ordered prata, maggi mee goreng and prata ~~bomb~~ bomp. and we talked but phone lines and msn getting tapped by govt if we tlaked too much of prata bomp.and mas selamat.wonder if he likes it.get it? hurr hurr. and calida kept torturing dong gong the whole time.and everytime i said something bad bout her.the worst is she twisted dong gongs hand and made him twril..grrrrr.evil. put meow meow there then you know ah.

went baq to tampines.in the bus, i got unglamed.dang. and camwhored. hahaha.tampines but stop.yes. i got poked like 15 times. though i got to block a few here and there.but give her chance la.let her feel happy. haha. walking home with dong gong got me the stares from ppl.oh wells.haha.tuesday tomorro. ENLISEMENT ON 25TH.OH WELLS.

2008-07-01T23:02:00.002+08:00

toade was a total madness. there was this guy that came and then bought this bear and while building this bear, his questions weree...hahaha.in a nutshell, he was just like me. he got a velvet bear in a police uniform. the party after that. thats the killer. 10 boys. 10 yrs. they just cant sit tight and listen.even while explaining the rules of the party, they just kept being super restless! choose the bear and movin to stuff me was dificcult. the heart ceremony too. then there was this boy that just kept throwing the hearts. while stuffing, he just threw a bunch of them at stacey! hahaha. fluff me was also a killer. i was litereally shouting la. those who know me should know how the volume is. haha. dress me was worse! they just took it off t he mat that we layed out in front of them so they can choose while we got it for them! had to literally RUN back and forth la. by the time we came to say the bear promise, i talked so loudly that i could hear the echos in the corridoor. i just died la todae. it was totally difficult. there was stock todae too.so just died la. woke up late and no time for brekky. so yea.grabbed a yam cake and milo, which stacey nicely split.oh wells. will blog bout the last day of auzzie soon..lazy =D

2008-06-14T20:42:00.003+08:00

twenty-fifth day it the land of the roos...[last night down under]
WARNING! WORD LADEN POST
sigh.this is gonna be the last post that i'll be making down under, at least till 2 years later.i hope.when i am studying here, that is. so yea. there's gonna be a few things that i'm gonna miss about this city..melbourne, australia. the choppers fluing overhead the apartment everyday and night. the long, cold walk from the place i live, walkin next to the BMW show case, under the fresh water place where there is a subway, other resturants and a mac. then over the yarra river and under flinders street station then seeing the lord of the fries place and, BAM! i'm in the city =] the other thing that i'll miss is the sirens ringing in the night.and the fire engines going around town, the trams and the red light man flashing means finish up your walk.haha. the most important thing i'll be missing? the nice cold weather.and my uncle and aunty, of course.the slang and openness. niceness and helpfulness, esp the service and fun with the ppl.not to mention their politeness.

okok.enough of the lamenting. time to talk about todae.

day started at like.super early.7 am.had brekky with the birthday ~~boy~~ man cus thats his tradition.no complains there. brekky was sasuages. beef patty, fried egg and toast with orange juice (the juice and bread seperately, of course). my aunt made his lunch, and brekky, and his lunch was lik.noodles with a chicken steak and sausage. he so loved it la.
after he left, i wanted to head off but then my aunty reminded me that the shops not open so early.silly me.why didnt i think of that?haha.so took a nap till 11 then left at 1130.had to wake up my aunt cus she wanted to go to the town as well.so yea lo.she had to open the door for me. left for qv after that. walk half way the bus come.didnt wanna run.so waited at the stop.bad idea.it was like.above the river? so when the winds blew, dang was it cold. tot it would be like 20 mins before the next one comes but thank God, it took onli 10 mins.so yea.headed down to the market.

at the market, still cold la. walked thorough every single aisle. saw like.the retarded shirts and items lo. there was like this auzzie guy playing the aboriginal tube thingy. it was nice man. the kids were like.so hooked on him that he kept playing it la.haha. walked around and then got like.nuts.literally,not mentally, though some of you know that i am.haha.called my gramps and he like.asked me to bring grams to see the doc.she just had her eye surgery so yea.keep her in your prayers yea? walked to the vege section. the ppl there are crazy i tell you. they were like.! DOLLAR BANANAS! ! DOLLAR BANANAS!!! then the other guy like 2 BANANAS FOR 1 DOLLAR!!! like some battle like that la. if you didnt know them you would think that they were like parade commanders la. there was this vege seller that shouted like.LISTEN TO ME! 5 MUSHROOMS 1 DOLLAAARRRR!!! then this asian shopper was like. hey! you! SHHHHH. then pointed at his year.then son of the seller then shouted louder, followed by his dad! LOL. headed down to the poultry section to try and find the hotdog stall that my aunt told me about but couldn find it. the battle of prices continued there, and its like.indoor so imagine the noise man.haha. so yea.walked over to the makan area but like.no place to sit.sian. walked to the churros place and the the queue was the longest.and the bus was coming.so ran for it.and guess who i met on the bus? my aunt.hahaha. so yea.headed home together. got off the bus and she asked if i wanted lunch. said yes and wanted to head down to crown.but didnt wanna sit alone and also hard to get seat alone so caught up with her. OHOH.and there were like ppl dressed in like.scary costumes and scaring ppl.hahaha.tourists were scared but i wanted to go scare one of them la.haha.then there were these 2 "vamps" on the carosuel and like pretending to e scaring the horse.funny la.haha. so yea. had a sub instead. chicken steak with xtra salami. haha. had lunch at home. it like.drizzled again while walking home.just like melbournes crazy weather. haha. learnt that she got my uncle a black forest cake and mango cake.so yea. after lunch, packed my luggage. the most retarded thing i did was to close it, and open it 5 times when i forgot to put things inside. and my aunt enlightened me by saying.keep it open till tomorro?haha.so yea. bathed and got ready for dinner. my uncle came home and off went.to old raffles place.a place that seved sg food.

it looked like some sg food place. we had sambal kangkong, spare ribs in sauce [pai kwat wong] and roast chicken. 2 bowls of rice for each of us man.that was how much we ate.haha. headed off after that. my uncle tempted me to get like.lamb soulvaki on chapel street.the best.so yea.why not.but when we got there and over shot, i was like.never mind then.my uncle kept promting me like 4 times. when we got home, he went to the toilet to bomb while my aunt and i prepared the cake.3 false alarms.haha.she had to change the candle out cus she blew it le.haha.when he came out, finally, he was shocked.haha.then he ate the cake like a little boy la. he cut the small little black forest cake like a boy too.haha.finished it in a jiffy. when my aunt helped him to remove the plastic ont he mango cake he was like.EHEH! LE ZUO SI MI?? the look on his face was priceless.haha.then he finshed the cake too.the cake, they explained, was the one that the always wanted to try since they got here.and he was SO happy.after 6 months he finally got to eat it.haha.then they had to check out dim sim[ dim sum, but they call it yum cha instead.weird ppl] places to eat cus the one they wanted to go to tomorro was FULLY booked.so yea.playing by year tomrro le. gotta get some stuffs too.at the airport.haighs chocos.heh.so yea.this closes the last post that i'll be making on this holiday in auzzie then.

loving the land down under.and the weather and ppl.

bryant

2008-06-13T21:01:00.002+08:00

twenty-fourth day in the land of the roos...
kinda like.dun wanna go home le leh.dawned on me that like.almost 3 weeks has passed just like that. one more night left till igo baq to 28deg afternoons and ks ppl.sigh. oh wells.

todae was EXTREMELY COLD.b4 i went out, the sky was like totally overcast.tot its just gonna pass when i stepped out into the balcony, i felt the coldest and coldest of raindrops ever.then the cold cold winds blew.SUPER cold. after changing and stuff. stepped out to check out the weather, it was sunny! after doing my hair and like preparing to go out, looked out and it started raining again.sian. sunny after 15 mins.went out while i could.haha.walking halfway up swanston st to londsdale, it started raining again! thank goodness got for hoodies. haha. now i really know what ppl mean by melbourne has 4 seasons in one day. and then winds blew strongly again can.the whole day long. tried walking into bourke street mall but kept going to dead ends.sian. fed up, headed down to jetty surf, the surf shop, and got the stuff i needed. when i got 1 of the 2. there was nothing that fit me! panic.cus like.sunday flying baq.stupid me.got 3 weeks to shop, onli last minute then go get.gong kia right. the guy told me to go over to melbourne central..walked all the way there. could not find.THEN! remembered that crown centre [ casino, entertainment centre] had it! good thing my uncle and aunt brought me there to jalan jalan =] lunch was a small plate of pasta bolognise. 5.70 dollars!!! but was nice =) anyways.walked around a but more then headed baq down to crown. but on my way baq, i wandered around a tad too much and then it was like.dark liao. noticed that there was more to melbourne to it than i have noticed! found the city circle tram and then hopped onto it. then i noticed that.its just that its dark.i HAVE been there before. my bad night directions.sigh.hahaha. on my way baq in the tram, remembered that i didnt got to the police muesem yet.sian. cannot go liao.monday to friday nia.sian la.

headed down to crown and found the design i wanted. colour was a little lighter but never mind.haha.got the right size. tot could go one up but then dun have. the guy was nice.told me that jetty surf had them [ he's from beach culture, btw] and asked if i had been to any others when i told hi that i was at jetty before. so yea. but he let me try on the size in another design and found out tha tthe one size up was a tad too big.he is nice la. got my stuff and and headed baq home to putt down my stuff before headeding baq to town for diner.haha.when i got home, i noticed that the lights were on! and the doors were open! i remembered the opposite when i left what. then found out my aunt and uncle were at home.haha. said bye when my uncle offered me a lift when i told him i was heading baq to town. since he was in his suit, we took a photo with the jag.heyo CEO.hahaha.

when in town. saw this group of ppl that were singing and dancing! was nice leh.then the crazy ang mohs were shouting in harmony with them.haha.walked up and down swanston and around the city like.2 or 3 times. then finally ate at this nice cafe.the boss is like super nice. when he asked how was my evening?i told him it was bad cus i wan hungry.then he was like.oh my! check out what me have?asked if he served dinner, he handed me the menu and told me to take a seat.haha.he talks to ppl in jokes.sounds like jokers la.abit like adel.haha. got a lagsanae with chips and a ice choco.it kicked ass. there was this family paying up when they didnt understand the bill, he asked who took the order then said.hey.who did it? then i'll give him the sack.i tot he was serious till he smiled.haha.while eating, the same group of singers and then overheard that they started breaking.haha.he associated breaking with jap.hahaha.
headed home after that. the winds were blowing super strongly and coldly can.thank goodness for beanies and hoods.hahaha. one more night left in melb. tomorro's my uncle's b'dae. and its my second last night here.sigh. ='(

loves..

2008-06-12T20:25:00.002+08:00

twenty-third day in the land of the roos...
oh wells. todae was a super cold day.thats for sure. the winds are like stronger than strong can be i tell you. when the winds blew i had a little difficulty walking man. it was only 16degs.

went to have lunch with my aunt todae..while walking to the bus stop, the strong winds conjured a sandstorm la.the guy infront of me looked like he kena punched.so yea.it DID hurt.had some meant ravioli or smth like that la.it was nice la.my aunt had lagasana. or however that is spelt. bought some chocies after that. headed on down to the shrine of remembrance. saddening man. the things are like. "lest we forget" and other huge inscriptions of pain on the walls. on the balcony, the winds blew so strong that my camera that was just hanging on my hand was like.blown around. scary. the winds sounds are as scary. now i know what those ppl in hurricanes felt.minus the rain. but it rained later at night.so.yea.

headed over to the botanical gardens.walked halfway then walked out. walk around it and enter again near the water area.hahaha. sat there and just watch the birds fly by. the ducks like kept, er, ducking, in the water.comical. mating ritual i tink. walked around the entire pond to find out that i could have saved like.15 mins by walking in the OPPOSITE direction.but oh wells.scenic walk.haha. headed to the yarra then.

walked along the meander of the river baq to southbank, where i stay..the walk was nice la.got ppl going down the river in a boat-kayak kinda thingy. free bbq pits on the bank. theres also public mooring pontoons.4 hours onli. yea sure the police will come down and check eh? reached southbank and checked out southgate.there was like this bridge under flinders street where there was a freaking bombing operation going on man. i missed a bio bomb by milliseconds. i litreally ran through the underpass. the bombers? its not by boeing or mcdonnel dougals.its a brand everyone knows. its PIGEON. dang.. had nandos for erm.snack.its a lil fast food joint.nice food though.finally got to drink my nutrient water todae.hee.the desctiption on it was HILARIOUS. bought some fresh chilies and then headed home. its dark by like 5 now man. dinner was bak kut teh. hee. my uncle and i like whollpoed a whole pack of chips..doritos.they fill it to the brim here man.oh ya.headed to coles b4 that. got the sasuages for his b'dae brekky.he wanted all of us to pei him it.his tradition.haha.oh wells.so yea. till tomorro.

loves..

2008-06-11T22:58:00.002+08:00

twenty-second day in the land of the roos...
its a wednesday, june 11.
backdated

todae is like.HOT. the weather. warm like summer liddat. went for lunch at macs.tried the mceurope burger.they advertise like its some nice thing lie that.end up.taste quite bad. the gal at the counter looked dang familiar can. the place where i ate is like some bird gathering place or smth. the number of birds matched the number of fries i had. talking bout the fries. macs here got free supply of salt or smth. as i was eating, i saw the girl kept looking at me can.scary sia. look at her, smile she blush. oh wells =D not that i complaining.hee

anyways. headed down to the DFO. again..bought another shirt. the shirt, i saw at one shop was AUD$69.95. the almost same shirt, dif outlet, costed only AUD$49.95! dang.

headed home after that. dinner as a nice noodles in seaseme oil with oyster sauce and chilli, grilled chicken wings and a chicken soup with straw mushroom, egg tofu and fishballs.

watched the ARL state of origin.the rugby game of honour. Queensland states Vs NSW. today match.second.first was when i came. NSW got trashed man.30 to NIL. while cooking, my uncle turned the tv towards the kitchen and watched while cooking.eating also watch. after dinner, the both of us watched while my aunt skyped my other aunt. we were like.totally drawn into the game.haha. later at night i watched this movie.the last castle.its good.go watch it.some where.haha.

loves.

2008-06-10T21:40:00.002+08:00

twenty-first day in the land of the roos...
todae was a day to slack.the temp was cold, sun was high. that was what i thought until i stepped outside.

on my way to the city, past the BMW centre, crossing the bridge and to the underpass, the wind was s strong that i had a bit of trouble walking can..my fringe flew above my hair..or head. walkd around.remembering that my nice dad had sponsored me some dough =D recee the city for things to buy.hee. so yea. walked around. ate my kripsy kreeme doughnut =D original and devils food.total choco.the doughnut was choco dough and the outside was crusted choco with some sugar thingy. ate a subway italian BMT, not basic military training. dinner was some scallop with vege, and a VERY spicy prawn and fish fried with onions and some VERY spicy sambal.thats bout it =]

loves..

2008-06-09T21:38:00.003+08:00

twentieth day in the land of the roos...

todae.was.a.gloomy.day.the day started out dark man..went down to richmond to shop for our steamboat!!nice i tell you.but more on that later. it was raining. cool and nice.not too cold =) just nice for a steamboat.but sadly?no st kilda beach picnic todae though..no chance to eat the tidbits we got =( oh wells. then after that we went to richmond to get our groceries done cus south melbourne market was closed..queen vic also.so yea. saw like.all the raw salmon, oysters, scallops and all man. the goods too.heh.had lunch AT PACIFIC HOUSE AGAIN!! =D then made for home.

at home we started to prepare our dinner. the stock and stuff. changed and then went off to the docklands where we took like millions of fotos.not as much as ytd but yea.thats where my uncle and aunt decided to move to next to next year too.hahaha. it was freezing there man.the wind was super strong.there..we say like this chopper flying off a boat.sia la.haha. then went to st kilda to take more fotos.nicee..sun set.

home.DINNER.steam boat.super hugee spread. terriyaki beef, chicken in my uncle homemade sauce, seafood, fish, veggie, noodle and like other stuff.ALL THIS IS FRESH DE. ate a super lot. cold weather plus steaming hot steamboat = bliss =] opened the balcony window like big big la. so yea.thats bout it.

sorry joanna..dun understand leh..care to explain? =)

2008-06-08T20:48:00.004+08:00

nineteenth day in the land of the roos...
man where do i begin.

thank the Lord..my tummy is baq to normal.at least, can eat normally le. woke up at like 11 plus then prep for the picnic to the organ pipes national park began man. my uncle was making the burger [beef patty with melted cheese, lettuce, lightly fried ham and an egg], while my aunt was making the potato salad [ mashed egg, potato, miracle whip]. the night before we went to the supermarket and got our tidbits. packed the things in and then washed up. we had to topo a little first.checked the route and then made sure of where we were going. was the topo guy for the day.hahaha.thank goodness for AQ.haha

after checking the stuff, we headed off to the car park ,where we got into the JAGUAR =P
headed off and then we were like.enjoying the power of the the jag, and the comfort. then i was like directing my uncle who was driving la.i feel good man. a toursit, topo in a town he is unure of, and guiding a jaguar somemore.dang.haha. but when we hit the highway, i got lost, then wrong directions. suppose to can head straight but i said turn left [out]. oppx. then headed into the suburb. opps. then headed back and then we made it to the park in one piece.phew.haha. then when we stepped out of the car, we expected it to be cold but to our pleasant surprise, it was cold and nice! so we had our picnic and then saw this little family having a super big meal la.feast, more likely. then there was this small family of 3. the son was like running around and playing with a stick.the dad taught him not to play by takiing the stick and pircking his hand gently and said did that hurt? imagine if that went into your face.he stopped. hahaha. then we went baq to the car to put back the food stuff and also cam whore with the car. sat in the drivers seat.heh. then we headed down to see the organ pipes.its like.formed by flowing lava. but the viewing platform was closed..sigh.but oh wells.we found a alternative track down.super long and steep man. but the weather was just nice.the air was fresh.heh. took pics, but the walk up was crazy.haha

made our way baq home, where we topoed again.this time? i did it right.heh.dinner was curry with rice.dang was it nice.piping hot and spicy in this cold weather was heavenly man. oh.called my mom too.need money =/ finished 685 auzzie dollars in close to 3 weeks.not that bad right?hee. then we took a walk to the crown entertainment centre.

the walk was nice.a full tummy and cool weather. we walked into the centre and saw 2 ferraris parked on the porch man.walked in and saw the nice water features.another sight was seeing this guy being brought out by like.5 security men.his legs were not touching the ground man.he was tip-toeing. the sm said that he was being rude.haha. then we wanted to walk through the casino to the other side but this italiano guy was like "you got a idto", with his hand stretched out. so oh wells. walked along the yarra river. then we saw all the food shops.nice leh. walked into the foodcourt and then through to the entertainment, for the family, section.we saw like.lots of shops and food. we walked down to the arcade where we saw this small boy bursting his money on this machine where you can win like millions of tickets.he did it after like.5 tries, 1 buck a try btw. then afer he won, he continued. dunno why also.haha. then we walked up to the food part, where we grabbed a sundae.and walked baq home. not a bad day todae =)

loves.

2008-06-08T20:42:00.007+08:00

nineteenth day(posting for the 18th) in the land of the roos...
nothing happened.just that this post is post dated.get the pun?haha/but yea.its posted on the 18th.yea.

nothing happened.just woke up, brekky, medi and sleep till night.dinner was a, poor me, porridge while my uncle and aunty had loh mak.sigh. slept again. till.todae.yea. thats bout it.but...

we got one of the many pleasent surprises that life has in store for us. we saw the car. a FREAKING JAGUAR S-TYPE, parked in the lot.

when we were approaching the car, my aunt was like.eh?that looks like a jag leh.then she say the badge and went. OMG! [cus the night b4, when i went hospital , it was a holden stateman, a luxury car.huge.the passenger area was HUGE]. i was shocked too.then we were like.dang...

loves.getting better too =D

2008-06-07T11:22:00.010+08:00

eighteenth(posting for the 17th) day in the land of the roos...
ok.this post is actually posted for the 17th day. so.yea.

this is sucky.kena food poisoning.what is luck la.tio then the whole day cannot go out.suay sia.till at night.eat dinner then after awhile go lao liao.go hospital see doctor lo. i went to so many place in auzzie.most must pay entrance fee.this is the most expensive "tourist attraction" so far la.160 bucks.thank goodness for insurance.

after the triage had to go admin then wait. the time was 11, auzzie time. waited till 1, went to see the nurse tell her i feeling worse then she go attach some probe and like went.nope.not that bad.i wanted to tell her.hello.i feel the pain of your feel the pain? but.oh wells.at 130, went to ask the nurse how long more than can go in.cus keep getting pushed baq cus the stupid ppl go drink then get drunk and then get injured.tupid ppl. found out got 4 ppl infront of me b4 going in to wait again.suay can.then after awhile. the nice admin person went to call one doctor.then he talk to me and gave me a bottle of medi.to stop the nausea. took it with some water.they told me."if you vomit, tell the triage nurse ok?" ok lo.then they gave me this vomit bag.i kid you not. its not some red flimsy plastic bag. but its a v-bag.some medical bag meant for vomitting one la.cool sia. then i threw up in less than 3 mins after taking the water.then the nurse came and brought me into the waiting area and put me on a bed.one doc came and then gave me a jab for the nausea.but while waiting for him, a good 15 mins, i fell asleep and then while waiting for him, i was shivering like seow. after the jab, i had to wait for joe, the doc who gave me the water, to come do a assesment on me. after he was done, he told me what to do and drink.b4 i left, he asked if i wanted something for the pain then he winked and gave me the medi.nice guy =)

gone home and went to the toilet a further 4 times in the night.sian/

loves.NOT the pain...

2008-06-05T20:56:00.003+08:00

sixteenth day in the land of the roos...

OH MY GOSH. july 25th. the day of reconking.shyte.good game..faster than i expected.oh wells. gotta grow i guess.

todae was a REAL slow day. woke up at like.1130? the latest so far. woke up and then had brekky.but before that i had to go and like get orange juice cus no more liao.ITS FREEZING i tell you.and the bloody shop suck blood one sia.orange juice, 2 litre, 4.50! coles (supermarket) onli 2.30! and its way nicer.

Changed and then headed down to chapel street. another day of pain i tell you.can see but cannot buy.sia la.oh wells.there are a million nice shops.ladies if any one reads this, and if you are headed to melbourne, save up and hit chapel.there are a million and one nice shops here. the good thing for me is that there are like sales everywhere.so i not that heartpain that i missed the great singapore sale.haha. now i am loving sales i tell you. but not DOING the sales. haha. got my tactical pouch and a cup of gloria jeans cookies n cream mocha ice blend. the difference between here and baq home is that the condiments, is that the choco sauce, caramel and the powder is that you can put however much you want, on your own.the cap also you put it on yourself so yea. headed home after that. while walking that time not so cold know.rather hot actually but once home, it was like in a freezer i tell you.went under wraps [no, i didnt do anything wrong] and still felt cold.even my uncle who can tong the cold found it cold so yea.he wears shorts and slippers down in the winter at times so you can imagine how cold it is when he says its cold. dinner was a nice chicken fried rice.it was nice man.

loves.or er.not that much todae.or maybe. dunno.

2008-06-04T22:26:00.005+08:00

fifteenth day in the land of the roos...

todae was painful man.went to boxhill.1 hour tram ride to there from the city.the stupid mike was like going tooot..tooot..tooot.like the driver forgot to hang up the phone or something. then after half the journey, the driver switched off the tram and then didnt turn it on after 2 red lights.then we moved off. reached box hill like.quite fast la.walked around.TODAE WAS SCRAINGLY COLD/but not as bad as ytd though.yesterday was crazy.UBER cold.fog game baq at a early 4 plus can. OHOH.while waiting for my 109 tram to box hill, this lady came to me and asked if i could do a survey.i was like.what the heck lo.shoot man =) then got a free little ~~football~~ rugby ball..and on the tram, there was this girl that kept looking atme.o swear.so i just looked at her suddenly and she blushed like mad and started looking around! lol.

walked around and got to ~~thumb by thumb~~ da pai dang. the food was nice la. but before that went walking to see clothes.its painful to be able to see and not be able to buy.called my mom but didnt manage to get her till loooong after.but even after?didnt wanna buy.walked in and out 3 times.of 2 shops.sigh. then got my chocos.AUS$24.70..then walked around more and bought my chewing gum. walked out and [before lunch i walked outside and it was raining] and then ran for the tram and onli noticed that i didnt look at the number when i boarded.i onli noticed 1/4 into the trip and then noticed onli when i looked at the electronic display (like the ones on the mrt platform) and then saw *109 ---NOW* phew.haha.then lack already.reached the city and then took a walk.noticed there was alot of the city that i haven seen yet.have to take a look at the city man.got alot of shops haven comb yet.so many shops to se,e so little money.hahaha.felt hungry so went to look for food.but then remember that dinner was going to be served..so went to grab a sushi lo.teriyaki chicken.wanted to take the salmon but then ate b4.so try other things lo.went home and then watched tv and dinner.then more tv and blog lo..

loves.

2008-06-03T21:55:00.005+08:00

fourteenth day in the land of the roos...

its been 2 weeks since i've been here.oh wells. went to jail todae.no, i didnt commit any offences.museum.haha.scary sia.the cells were cold.the death masks were also scary. ned kelly was hung there too. the cells were uber small.then also the female prisoners were kept in groups, in bigger cells.at first they were in the same block as the male and then were sepearated from the males cus of emotional and physical danger. the warderns were also no sympathy kind.even the female kind. the prisoners also could not imagine a fellow australian so ruthless. it was scary, all in all.

then went for a tour of the old watch house.we were treated like crooks who were caught and then given arrest or charge sheets.i was damien orbst or smth.charged with possesion of a firearm and claimed it belonged to my dad who had a licence for it.they took our names and stuff.the desk sarge. then walked to a room, where we stood against the wall shoulder to shoulder and then were checked.btw the hands also cus drugs could be plastered on.shoes and below tongue. then we were seperated into groups of our arresting officers.mine was senior constable trinh i tink. then we were hurded into cells.it was VERY cold, had the smell of urine and after awhile, the sarge turned off the light for bout 5 mins? then he brought us out and explained somemore and said that they could stay for 13 hours then get releases. one cell could let 3 men sleep on the benches and then the rest had to sleep on the floor or sleep standing up. there were 3 small cushions and white thick hospital typed blankies.before that it was "the itchy army towels"then made our way to the ladies holding cells.it was bigger and not as cold. the excersice yard was also smaller than the mens. then we took a mugshot of ourselves.had to use our own cameras, of course.

went for lunch.had ramen.and gyoza.then went to check out the haviannas and found out that the shop had a sale.ended up buying a quicksilver shirt.i'm so broke.100+ left for 2 weeks.now can really "chi si pei feng le" or eat the winter winds.not metaphorically this time.. and went home to "get some money" to but a mc eurpoe burger.wanted to try it out.but then ended up staying le.cus 1.its UBER cold. 2.its nice and cosy baq home =) 3.it was foggy. 4.its cold, foggy and i was hungry.i know i repeated cold and foggy.it WAS.and still is..

dinner was soup.b4 that we went to buy noodles cus i ate one cup ytd and my uncle and aunty are crazy bout it.so after dinner we did our own impt stuff and then ended up eating noodles while my uncle ate my crumplets.they're spongey bread like thingys, by the way. so yea.watched balls of steel on the tele and then.ya.

loves.

2008-06-02T20:49:00.007+08:00

thirteenth day in the land of the roos...
today went down in history.hur hur.hur hur.you'll know why in awhile.
ate brekkie and then took the tourist shuttle to melbourne muesuem.. quite nice la actually. the tix were like 6 bucks. then walked around lo.the aboriginal gallery was saddening.the lost generation esp. heart breaking.the sculpture they took the children away is REALLY heart breaking.like the song "they took the children away" archie roach. breaks your heart. the sculpture depicted a scene of a child(bronze) looking down sadly with a "welfare" officer(silver) holding the childs arm, leading her away. on the other side, the mother is on the floor half up, crying with another officer lookin on and making sure that the mom doesnt do anything.hurts. listen to to song.it'll bring tears to your heart.='( i nearly cried. also learned that the laws that they had were not really listened to by the whites.like the tools that were to be in the meusem were like.argued over badly.and their names were all changed.sigh.

went on to the mind and body exhibits.showed the entire body and its functions. and atuposy was not allowed till quite late. so yea.then after that went to the dino part.wasted my time.saw this bee exhibit and there as like this mike there where the tunnel led from the garden to the manmade honey collecting kinda thingy and they are like the city and take the tunnel to the outside.they like wwwooooaaaaiiiinnnggg.loud la.scary too.sounds like they are AROUND you.eeerr.scary. then waked to the melbourne story part.ncie la.all the stuff were like about melb and its old times and showed the house models, the actual model of fitzroy suburb. and it was nice.coach, guns and alot more stuff.then after that the gold rush model was seen also.then a real coach was there man.a auto gun too. the stuffed body of phar lap, the legend was there.REAL size.nice.. so ya lo. then went walking aft that cus the shuttle no more le.

walked baq to the city and my tummy grumbled like mad.so went loking for food.saw the jap and wanted to eat them but so many can..dunno which one to eat.in the end, ate at the china bar.szechuan noodles and a cup of milk tea.the waitress said that it was spicy.i anticipate but in the end?i finished a good quater of the chilli jar.haha.then walked home.the yarra at night is super nice.then saw the fireballs coming out of the crown centre.boy was it nice..

14 days left..

loves.

2008-06-01T20:14:00.003+08:00

twelth day in the land of the roos...
todae started super early. had instant noodles for brekkie.haha.the fog was super heavy.visibility was super low.FIRST DAY OF WINTER!!!! =)

made our way to mt dandenong..its super nice. the clouds were covering the view from our first stop.so yea. then we made our way to the skyhigh dandenong. from there, suppose to be able to see the cbd of melbourne but then the cloud cover was too thick..so not much of a view.BUT the air was super fresh..after sitting around and a good 50 fotos later, we made our way down to have lunch at glen waverly.we went to the pancake parlour.boy was is good.and.the waiter was cute.my uncle was liike.eh.she cute leh.tacakle la. and he kept saying she walk past us so many times cus she like him.LOL! then he say wasted la.your aunty here.if not ah.hehheh. funny can??

the pancake parlour, as the name suggests, serves almost everything with pancakes.my meal was a traditional bacon and eggs.it had 2 free range eggs,2 buttermilk pancakes, and bacon.had an xtra order of hash brown, BUT its like the thins and its fried with butter.its super nice. when the food came, i tot how come got ice cream one.but its actually butter.it looks just like ice cream.haha.then my uncle went to take a scoop of it and went like.eh? why this ice cream hot and savoury one? thats when we found out that its butter.hee.

after lunch we made our way to box hill..where i found this choco super store. 70% coca pieces (25) selling for 5 bucks for 2! but.expired on 31st.its was those offers.sigh.bought dark choco bullets and nougat. the choco.tio pian..its licorice inside.sian. found out when i got home and ate one.sigh,

was 520 when we got to our dinner place.hogs breath.hehheh.had a el something prime ribs.with cheese sauce with salsa and jalapeno. with a salad and curly fries.sides were able to be chosen. was nice sia. took a lite cut.200 ~~germs~~ grms..then went home le. so yea.

at home, the sky was super fogged up. cant see much out of the window..

loves

2008-05-31T20:46:00.002+08:00

eleventh day in the land of the roos...
its quite a nice day todae.went to lygon st again todae.took the tourist bus.ran like mad.hahaha.for lunch.had chicken, spiniach, mushroom risotto. then walked around. bought a tiramisu and truffle cookie crunch gelato.man it kicked ass. took the bus baq to the city.but fell asleep. returned to the city and found a bird perched on the statue of matthew flinders.and his enitre head was white.cus the bird shat on it.then there were like ppl taking pictures of it. were walking towards queen victoria square but my uncle called.so we went to meet him lo. then went for dinner at matsumoto jap restruant. ate a sukiyaki beef bowl.onli 9.50 bucks. uncle had katsu don while my aunty had yakiniku beef bowl. entree was agedeshi tofu and taka something beef.its raw beef with only the sides cooked.then the beef was in some sauce with cabbage and ginger. then the appetizer was a single sushi.

after dinner, we went to.MAX BRENNERS CHOCOLATE BAR.everything i say EVERYTHING is made of chocolate.frappe, drink, chocolate and waffles and bronies.the whole nine yards. had a dark choco drink in a hug mug. cute. my uncle had a dark choco frappe while my aunty had a mint choco drink.went home after that..pics are up.

loves..

2008-05-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

tenth day in the land of the roos...
todae.is.by far.one.of.the.best.
attended planetshakers church.revival.its super good.now i'm so going back to church.

met up with yeni!!and elroy and alex too.made new friends.the songs were nice man.revived. the host was super funny."and the lady tugged on Jesus's JEANS and was healed-well.thats a mordern tranlation"and many more la!!! laughed till stomach pain. but amen.many ppl were revived todae. now i yearn for the lord.honestly.

had my dinner.china bar.bought friend hokkien UDONG.i kid you not. its nice.then had har kaw, ice milk tea and lemon tea.pictures are up.

loves.

2008-05-29T22:37:00.004+08:00

ninth day in the land of the roos...
passed one week yesterday.2 more to go.good or bad?i dunno. i am going mad.leather ripcurl wallet for 10 bucks.my other is 60.sigh.shopped todae.spent 120 plus. auzzie. mad mad.mad i tell you.oh wells.got other stuff too. had the heaviest meal so far for dinner.pacific bbq at chapel street.roast meats, scallops with veg, beef stir fried in black bean. its nice. the scallops is not the measly few pieces baq home where ppl fought over them.here.they fight to push it around.ALOT.

went to st kilda beach todae.nice view man.

chadstone was where i got my wallets.its HUGE.discounts and stuff.but its quite a drive from the city though.but there were loads of shops there. wanna go baq there again. oh wells.bus there. cab is mad.airport to central melb is a whopping 80 bucks. lalala.

brekkie was nice.uncle made it.2 italian sausages,butter omelet and a beef steak with a slice of toast.beverage was orange juice. weather was warm..19deg in the afternoon..ohohoh.got another hoodie too =) at 30% discount.my wallets and stuff had a little discount too.can go buy some other stuffs or makan.buying sounds better.

my uncle opened his b'dae pressies that i passesd to him.he was like a little boy who got his pressies.so cute!!the was like playing with the beanie.he like made it like a balacava and acted like delta force.super funny la!!

i feel like getting another crumpler... loves.

2008-05-28T22:04:00.002+08:00

eighth day in the land or the roos...
todae was a slow day for me..woke up and watched some thai movie.sweet but wasted my time totally. went to the military shop but spent 2 hours walking around town instead.fed up.tok the tram down to the dfo and back tracked.found out that it was just one street away from londsdale.bloody hell. by the time i got my stuff it was dark le. it was 530.its dark by that time though, just fyi. bought a auzzie burger on my way baq from hungry jacks (aka burger king). so yea.nth much happened todae. loves.

2008-05-27T20:30:00.004+08:00

seventh day in the land of the roos...
WENT TO SOVERIGN HILL, Ballarat.its like some 80s place.the ppl dressed like that and then the shops all sell the stuff and everything is like back in the gold rush period. the place reenacts the victorian goldrush period. then i went underground in this tour..nice.they even had the old drills.loud sia. watched as the tour guide went to places all of us could not. she had this camera that fed the tv. took a mine train out after that. walked about and bought a meat pie.beef. and a choco biscuit.cookie.large. the beef pie is called a miners pie.they also sold a HUGE one. miners biscuit is made of oats, honey, milk and butter.

at the goldpour, they actually showed us how they cast gold. they heated the thing to 2000deg and then poured it in a mould, cooled it and thrown it in the water, giving rise to a gold ingot, worth a whopping $96,000!! they actually let ppl hold it! coolio.when they gave it to an adult (cus there were lots of kids, school excursion..), the goldsmith took out an old handgun.funny right? his reason? adults are more dangerous =)

took a horse coach ride.not bad. checked out the tents and house and stuff.nice sia.then made my way baq to the coach and go home le. had bak kut teh for dinner.tired.dun wanna blog lots.

2008-05-27T20:11:00.003+08:00

sixth day in the land of the roos...
firstly, this post is posted on the seventh..oh wells.went to the DFO on my own..on my way tere, went past this military shop.can get stuff for my lbv.then a crumpler shop.should i get another one?hmmm.then went to the dfo where there was a tram accident.dunno what hapen.but the flashing lights of the ems very nice la.red blue red blue.like christmas! hahaha. shopped and got 2 shirts.walked home.was like 5 plus le. had dinner at home and slept early cus had a tour the next day. not many photos todae though..

for my makan..had this super long saurkraut sasuage bread with milk shake.uber nice.

2008-05-25T19:15:00.004+08:00

fifth day in the land of the roos...
todae was a early day..started at bout 9 plus.woke up and went to the south melbourne market.the food there was fresher than fresh can be.the oyster that i had there was super fresh.could even taste the salt water inside the shell still.it was only 1 buck per shot.super nice.then after that we went for our grocery shopping.after buying all our stuff we went baq to prepare for our trip to the duty free outlet, aka factory outlet. but before that,we made the curry, more of that later.

went to hungry jacks (aka burger king), and then had an auzzie burger, coke, fries and a storm ice cream. the auzzie burger has the beef patty, bacon, egg, lettuce and beetroot [yuck]. the ice cream was something like a mcflurry.mine was cookies and cream with choc fudge innfused in it.

we thought that it was only the usual one unit so we decided to shop at the passing shops, where we, in passing, learnt that THE WHOLE PLACE WAS THE FACTORY OUTLET!!

that was where i got my levi's at like.80 bucks? and another pair of berms, original 80, down to 25. with a further 25% discount.do your math man. when we only went through half the mall, it was already 3 hours! so we decided to head off to st kildas (beach) but it was already sundown, and no pics could be taken..so we headed to get our roti prata. my uncle made the prata and cracked an egg on every prata and leaving 2 of the 5 as kosong. dipped in the curry, it was nicer than the ones we have at home. the chicken and potato only complimented the taste of the curry. now here i am, blogging. made a set of photos in flikr so its easier on the eyes. its http://www.flickr.com/photos/89476300@N00/sets/72157605244901233/

2008-05-24T21:16:00.005+08:00

fourth day in the land of the roos...
day started at 1045.ate breakfast at home and then went off to queen victoria market..on the way to the bus stop, we saw this group of kids performing tap dance.nice..it was like..10+ deg when went out. waited for the tourist shuttle (complimentary).THATS WHEN MY GLASSES TURNED UBER DARK.never before can.while waiting, this lady came up and commented on how she waited for the bus for 1 hour and it didnt come.then she kept asking if there was a number to call and she found it.asked if we had a phone to call.she kept wanting to call.i was like.hello.its free.complain what. want faster? take public bus or tram la. after waiting 15 mins, my mom called. then talked to her.after another 10 mins. we walked down to take the city tram, which is also paid for by the taxes..half way through, the driver made an announcement, that there has been a strike, and that they had to reverse the tram.so we didnt get to out desti. in the end, we had to take a tram, for 6 bucks, to the market..once we were there, we started to walk around and recee for prices..saw something i liked and walked around more.it was 12 bucks, but found it at another stall at 3 for 10 bucks!! went for lunch.had a giant auzzie styled burger..and a large choco milkshake.nicer than the once we have at home.the guy selling it was like.bratwrust! 6 dolla! you gimme 50 cent (he sounds just like russel peters), i give you drink! and that is cheap.a acan of coke can cost up to 4.50.

continued shopping after that.waited for the tourist shuttle again but this time, we didnt get the bus..again.i think its the drivers who are protesting. then we fed up, decided to walk to lygon street.its where the italian community in melbourne resides. my aunty also told me that in the olden times, its also where the mafia often had their clashes.while walking there, we passed this spanish donuts shop (churros) and we decided to buy 7.for 6 bucks.not bad leh.walked all the way to lygon and took quite a few photos on the way. when we got there, all the cafes were open for dinner.we were supposed to have lunch there, if not for the bus delays. btw, qv market closes at 3..so.yea. anyways.we walked the whole of lygon and saw woodfired cafes, woodfired heaters and traditional fire places.nice..went to see some shops too.SUPA ex.its bcus of a minumum wage policy the govt here enforces.to prevent underpayment. waited for my uncle to come pick us up and then went to buy the NICEST fish and chips in the whole of melbourne. went home to eat and then watched a movie, just like last night.

stupid helicopters.fly around ALL day.you think petrol free ah.LIVE EARTH!!!

okioki.gtg sleep.long day ahead..check out my flickr..its linked in the previous post and on the navi bar. loves.

2008-05-23T22:55:00.003+08:00

third day in the land of the roos..
todae.woke up at the earliest time so far.945.had breakfast.bread with ham and cheese.budget a bit.and drank my milky!! packet milk which, when shaken, becomes thick and nice milkshake. watched abit of auzzie tv and then changed and headed out into the streets.freedom i tell you, freedom! walked out to the city.not too cold.walked so much and no presperation.crossed the yaara river (had to cross it to get to town) and had a gentle breeze blow past.boy was it nice. managed to contact suet yen..meeting up with her and some of my seniors next friday..walked about in town todae..

the haviannas here cost only like..20 plus? and ripcurl slippers..2 for 25 bucks..all in auzzie dollars, of course. found some nice shops.the billabong,quicksilver and ripcurl stuff are off the roof.90 for a pair of broad shorts. might as well go rob bank. but the wallets and belts are cheap.getting them.had lunch at the same indo resturant again. when i walked out of the place, the weather was just nice.not too cold.went back for a little nap.felt tired.woke up and then walked over to the suburbs, didnt need jacket.jsut nice la.like air-con liddat. walked half way and saw a macs.debated and finally went in to get a quater pounder with cheese.walked baq and got a ice coffee in a bottle and another caramel choco bar.had one yesterday already.

went home and then watched tv while wating for my aunt and uncle to come home.watched tv and then like..channel surf like mad.when they came home, dinner was cooked.teochew porridge.nice man.steaming hot in a freezing cold country. watched some canto show after that and then they slept while i went online.

the environment outside is crazy.its easily under 5 deg and the sky is foggy man.super cold already under wraps and calstill feel the cold.man.. tomorro is gonna be a lowest of 3 and a highest of 12/13. gotta wrap up man.

ohohoh.here's my photostream so far :www.flickr.com/photos/

2008-05-22T19:39:00.004+08:00

second day in the land of the roos...

well well.woke up at 1130, auzzie time. went for lunch at this indo resturant.super nice.ate some flavoured rice with fried chicken with an egg, with soto soup.had an egg and bee hoon inseide somemore la. dang. then shared a fried rice with my uncle. after that went for a city tour.on foot.saw like.singapore food shop and other stuff.chinatown was nice.the air smelt like the one in hong kong la. my transitions went SUPER dark.like never before. was nice and cold la. bout 10+? went for a free bus tour.one hour.then after that went to buy one ICE COLD CAN DRINK.stupid right? my hand was like freezing while holding the can la.went for dinner at some greek place.had a chicken and lamb wrap, with a side dish of chips (fries) and sausages with lemon squeezed over it.the wrap was nice man.the water jug very cute la.the glass also small small one. =)

after dinner, went to the great eastern super mart, where they sold ALL asian food stuffs.nice la. then after that went to coles, something like our NTUC..bought stuff.milk is as cheap as water here can.oh wells. going to bed now.till tomorro..solo.till sat.oh wells =) putting pics up soon..

nasi uduk..coconut rice with sweet egg and soup (soto.got egg,bee hoon and chicken inside.the chilli is fantastic)

2008-05-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

first day in the land of the roos..

the day started off at 5 for me..wakie then went to do some lst minute packing.then woke my parents up and then headed off for the airport.when i checked in my luggage, it was a whopping 27kg,plus the cooker(which was supposed to be handcarry), totalled up to 34! we thought.die la.must pay.but the nice lady let it through!!!! =)

met xavier there.and my grandparents.then went to check myself, no i didnt type wrongly, in. then went to makan at some ah wang place.sell bread one. then after makan walk around abit and then went to buy the hae bee hiam for my uncle. had to tear of the ingriedients so that i can tell the auzzie customs that there aint no meat inside. told them that its just flour, sugar and spice (without the everything nice.or we'll have the powerpuff girls). then after packing the stuff in my bag we went to find my chaperon. she was a nice lady.then met another guy,name's benjamin. my age.from melb.he went to manchester, then singapore then home. boarded the plane first.cut every single queue, from entering the lounge to customs.

boarded the plane. my neighbor is this nice lady from Indonesia.PR in auzzie.then in the flight i went to the toilet so many times. breakfast was just bread with butter,orange marmalade and some fruits. lunch was 2 things but i took the salmon with buttered veg and boiled potatoes, with smoked ham cold pasta as a entree and ice cream with cheese crackers to end the meal off.watched 2 movies.enchanted, first sunday. then listen to music and played psp. when we landed in melb, we were the last to exit the plane.then when we stepped off the plane, boy were we greeted by a gust of cold wind. then we went to fill int he customs and declaration form and went to clear immigration. then get bags and went to meet our guardians. then sum yee had to sign the form. we went to then go to yee jiongs car.we walked around the car park twice just to find out that at the very same spot was the car, but on a different level.loaded up and went off.yee jiong the car had bhis sound system "zhnged" la. bass is.whoot. on the way home, yee yee went to order pizza.aus$9.9 for a large pizza hut super supreme! its super huge. then went home and ate. after awhile, and skype, yee jiong and i went to the super market. its uber cold in there. maybe cus of the poultry.oh ya.his car is a Mitsubishi lancer. then went home and here i am blogging. here are some photos =)

2008-05-19T23:42:00.002+08:00

what.the.fug. you got a problem you come say it in my face.i take you one on one. just cus of one incident? dont hum.come take me on.

after the stags game on sat.can die i tell you.uber fun.wasted esmer and the others like jag all didnt manage to come.sigh.the sec 1 nite thingy was boring. saw sam there.the last time i saw her was the last time i saw mr.t rex. good thing had esmer to pei me.if not.die. baby talking all they way.little girl girl made milky for little boi boi =D love girl girl to bits=) lalala. girl girl must sleep early.

auzzie on wed.gonna miss you ppl.

stare ppl down till like that.want to talk it out, lets go.outside?also can.turning beng? maybe.

2008-05-13T22:48:00.002+08:00

oh wells.long long story. first things first.i so got over it. works good..fun.net some nice ppl =D stuffed animals. not bad la. dunno what to blog about also.

i'm back to the same old me =) hope to get it.someday.some how.it will be that way =)

2008-05-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

lets fly baq in time..shall we?
on tuesday..b4 labour day de.went to take my free ben and jerry's cone.hee.cookie dough. then got like.2 chio gals walked in.hot too..they like took oine hello kitty.then play with it.they like so cute la.one of them like.kept looking at me.she lookes familiar la..jsut cant put a name to it.her eyes are like..woot.then wanted to take number..but manager was there..cant..turning to flirt sia.

on wed..nth much happened.just went aiki.

thurs.had a party for my helper.she leaving sia..12 years with us.its gonna be different w/o her man.wells..the food she made was nice man.

friday.worked again lo.nth much happened though.

sat.meeting.met some ppl i never saw b4.haha.then went for breakfast..met dad to help do work..bubbles and face painting.the nag moh kid speaks just like nay normal singaporean can.close your eyes, you wont know its a ang moh.

todae.had a stags game.then chilled after that.took games.slaack.makan dinner.talk.go home.

life has to go on.right?
going auzzie on 27th may.want anything, call me, msg me, msn me, email me, send me pigeon also can =)

2008-04-28T23:48:00.002+08:00

well well..todae.stuff like super lotsa bears can.then went to buy ljs.the gurl.bao ling.really bao can.she KAWAAII!!!!then after that she key in wrong then had to go baq to get my order.then the irony was that she said see you again.hahaha.the look on her face was like flustered can.poor her.then went baq to shop and saw this gurl.make up heavier than the crane's counter weight can.but when she smile.sia la.she super chio.her dimples and stuff.sia.chio.but make up super heavy.hahaha.
the cartoon i watched todae.."and in the other corner in the round ring..."lol.corner in the round ring.so now got corner in circles la.haha.oh wells.then like todae.we were super bored.but after that.towards the end of the day, sudden influx of ppl can.whoa.can die.run up and down.hahaha.oh wells.then after that obasan and her boyfriend sent me to bedok there.nice ppl.whoa.her bf..speed demon sia.he super good.then he said that whoa.after seeing the drifting ah..i also wanna drift can.whoa.if he did that ah, i call him boss sia.then adel was like..AAAHHH! hahaha.

ohohoh.and i got news from the "MOH" that SPAM is now safe to eat.for me onli la.heehee.

2008-04-23T00:26:00.002+08:00

no one knows what i'm feeling now.i'm bleeding on the inside.i'm crying badly. i'm torn.i'm bleeding more than i have.this mask i wear.how much more battering can it take? sure.weather the storms of life.i intended to do it with you.not on my own! i'm confused. are you leading me on?are you telling me to take the move? are you opening up to me? like before? can we ever get back to what we were?can we? i'm like in a glass box.i can see you.but i cant touch you.you're there.i'm shouting till my voice is no longer there. and you dont even hear the slightest whimper.i can see you cry.i wanna wipe your tears and give you my shoulder to lean on.i want to comfort you.i really do. i know what i did was really wrong.thrice have i hurt you.i wont say how was i to know that that would hurt you. from what i hear.you are hurting too.yea sure.i said we're friends.i wont hurt.you think i can not hurt? i have kept my feelings at bay.i hinted to you.you led me on.or were you? it hurts like shit.what can i say?what can i do? all i can do is stand and watch.i dont want to hurt you.what can i say, or do, to let you know i'm sorry?i really dont want to hurt you again.the mask i put on.i really cant take it anymore.i cant wear it for much longer.its breaking and falling apart.i'm trying real hard to keep it in place but.you are just pulling it off.

2008-04-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

where do i start. 2 days ago. there were these group of girls.nth much.then got this girl come. man.she is SUPER cute.her eyes..can kill.her body.can burn.her voice.can make the deaf listen.and she actually smiled.man.i can tell you.i would have gotten her number if her sister was not there.man..then got OJT ppl come.whoa.this girl.super cute.bubbly too.but she older than me.sigh.so yea.nice to talk to.NOT FLIRT, mind you ppl who always thinks i flirt.comeon man. then ya lo.just talk and stuff.played too =)

then todae.got this girl that looked so much like samantha that i actually thought that it was her can..then after that.she left.cus she didnt like the job.oh wells.nothing much happened.

once again.i am maria.have a mam,sir,and o ba san. =)

looking in the skies, i'm reminded of your beautiful smile that made me know what love is once again.i know what i;ve done wrong.for real.what must i do to even get you to look in my direction?thats all i ask for.

2008-04-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

one little quickie.
went for work.worked till forgot to makan.then got early off the next day to make up for it.but i extended shift and was till full.worked all the way.never got the half hour baq =) dun mind it =) oh wells.stuff bears.got one aunty.go make so much troub.make me stuff so much.but never mind.she bought like.400 plus worth of stuff =) then got this pair of cute gals come in.RV one.they smile got like.500 degress of fire go through can.i was like blushing half the time. they so cute.the birth cert they put their speacial name as chio bus at first.then bu.cus bus is the one on the roads.then after that a grp of gals came in.do bear.for freind.then record msg. no frens.ask tem to confrence then record lo..hahaha.then made the bear.got one damn cute gal.kept looking and talking to her.fine.flirt. then think my manager saw and pulled me to sai kang. sigh.wasted can. oh wells.

then while surfing.saw this pic of HER.sigh.i wanna talk to her again.but.whenever i tried, i get tongue tied.LITERALLY.sigh.i've done what i've done. all i'm seeking is for you to just talk to me.acknoldegement is all i ask for. your love is a bonus.sigh.everything i see and hear.are they just hallucinations? all i pray is for this heart to be unbroken but without you all this heart is going to be is incomplete..

2008-04-20T22:29:00.001+08:00

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing

2008-04-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

After some time Ive finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
Im searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And Im sorry bout the things Ive done

I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didnt search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But shes crying while shes saying this

Against the wind Im going home again
Wishing be back to the time when we were more than
Friends

Still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didnt search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But shes cried while shes saying this

Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said

2008-04-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

i'm not pretending i'm sorry,
if you think that i am, i have nothing else to say.
i cant imagine life without your love
and whenever i'm with you, forever is not enough.

when i met you, i gave you my all
when you left, you left me not only in the cold
but also alone and with my heart in millions.
i tried searching for it
when i found it and offered it to you,
you took it and scattered it around the entire earth and heaven
but still, you got me drowning in your love
and i can feel my heart beating,though its broken

but the day you left abruptly and coldly
you left me with strangers around me
like a child who lost his mom in a sea of people.
you're everything that i need.you're everything i need.
baby.will you come back to me?
put your hand in mine.i promise that i'll keep you safe no matter what.
first i'll need your hand, then forever can begin.
Will you?

2008-04-13T22:26:00.001+08:00

Funny when you stop and think,
Time goes faster than you blink,
Nothings ever like it was,
You are the happiness it brings,
Is more than enough,
I know its hard to believe,
Your still the biggest part of me,
All I’m living for

I still think about you,
I still dream about you,
I still want you and need you by my side,
I’m still mad about you,
All I ever wanted was you,
Your still the one, your still the one,

Its hard to breathe when were apart,
You’re that sunshine in my heart,
I keep you here inside,
You’ve been everything to me,
You’ve been and always will be,
And I know it’s hard to believe,
Your still the biggest part of me,
All I’m living for.

If you love me, look into my eyes and say you do,
I’ve been waiting all my life for someone just like you,
Baby after all we’ve been through,
Girl I’m still in love with you,
And I want you to know, I love you.

2008-04-13T22:22:00.003+08:00

ever called some on 38 times only to have the person answer on the 39th? first time for everything eh..oh wells.still haven recover from major lack of sleep.sigh.forgot bb week card.must go down skool.sian. no money..no sleep.no er.dunno what also.

2008-04-12T23:09:00.003+08:00

yesterday. went to work too early.hahaha.supposed to go at like 4.went at 11.ahaha.then tot end at 7.finish at 5 instead..oh wells.then went to watch the musical the calling in barker. nice man.remind me of high school musical.then went to makan.met calida.makan..forced to eat a prata can.sigh.FORCED being the key word here..then went home. she found out tha tmilo was made from chocolate.well.she got 5000 points for that.

needed to be in school to open admin room at like 830.guess what time i woke up todae? 9. chiong cab down.my wallet going to cry la.

today.enrolement.sian la. go le then parade lo.drill drill drill drill.rain.sticky polo tee.eeeee. then go service.got long service medal.5 years of service just to get one metal.melt down and sell away for what.20 cents? for all the years.brigade recognizes our service with a 20c metal.oh wells.then the makan.WORST in the few years of the enrolment that i went for can.then fall out.go makan waffle town and suppose to take cab home with uriah and matt lin but then saw 67.chiong to bus lo.saved some nice bucks there man.hehehh.then met calida again.TODAE.SHE IS GONNA BE CHARGED WITH TREASON.for hitting the president of a nation of which ALL are a citizen of.PROCRASTINATION.i'll arrest you cal. hope can wake up man.

2008-04-08T01:35:00.004+08:00

Sai and i came up with this on the way home.

Country - Saying associated with it
Japan - YAA-TAA! (Hiro Nakamura)
China - WWAAATTAARR! [produced water] (Bruce Lee)
Malaysia - SIA LA! (Your regular Joe drinking teh tarik)
Singapore - AAIIYYAA! (Sound Familiar bros?)

if you think of anything else, do taggie oki? lets keep this one going guys.a litle request from me. can? =D

2008-04-08T00:42:00.003+08:00

nothing much happened today though.jsut that i got daoed again by her.not that i'm not used to it.but then again.i dun blame her for not replying.cus the thing is.i know that i hurt her.deep.like i said in all my earlier posts.i know my mistake. it still takes 2 hands to clap right?sigh.as much as i wanna make up for the wrongs that i did..she aint allowing me to.i.ve been serving the ball many times.but if she doesnt hit the ball, there can be no game to play right?sigh. i know what i said was wrong. 3 times. i'll just take it as a sign and just fade away from your wonderful life. bye then..sigh.

went to see small bear todae.got my leg done.my leg gg already. one long one short.sigh.and my bones run from their position. what to do.then went to cut hair.dun wanna talk about it. sigh.then went to meet the guys.waited for kar wei for like.2 odd hours?then went to marina with him, makan.but before that.we had to like wlak around marina square a million times and throught he arcade.also played.decided pool was too ex.then also we thought.if they wanna play again later, out wallets are gonna cry man. then wait for kenny and jag.kena ps by hari.he say got what house stuff to do.aiya.that one youpasal..we dun care la huh? =) then kenny came.took the panadol that he requested.then we waited for jag and sai called.then the 3 of us went to play arcade then we met up with jag.then deicded to watch a movie.3 kingdoms:resurrection of a dragon.not a bad show.though we did not have a idea what the show was about.but still.it was worth my 7.50 =) then while waiting for sai and the show to start, we started camwhoring again.haha. then we kenny and i decided to go buy or rather "smuggle"in BK. hee.did it perfectly. oh wells =) then after the movie we went to decide what to eat.started out at the second level.walked the whole level once, back to square one. then went to yoshi.then,as usual walked around the whole of level one, this time, twice. then ended up at yoshi.AGAIN.they ate while i didnt.budget.dad and mom's finances aint that good.thats one of the reasons why i didnt wanna go poly for just one sem.and thats why i working full time also.ease them up.surviving on your own aint easy.now i understand why the older generation ask us to be prudent in our spending and to reign in them.sigh.not easy man.those born with a silver spoon will never understand. hope can go ns earlier.ease them of this burden.let hte govt take care of me, and use the tax that my parents have been paying.then move on to auzzie.but the bad thing is.i;ll be leaving my friends and loved ones behind.it'll never be the same without them.sigh. its hard.

no one knows the pain in me.i'm crying on the inside.pain rips my heart.the more crazy i act, the deeper the pain is.things aint always the way they seem."My happiness derives from knowing the people I love are happy."

2008-04-07T08:52:00.002+08:00

well well..followed my dad to go do some party at one of the uluiest place i went to.the bloody place.some blandford road.the ppl who live there confirm dunno how to cook their food one.haha.the place was like at serangoon. then the names of the streets ah.all sound very ang moh one.dunno why. the place was super nice. the house uber big, but no aircon.the kids were cute though.haha.that was until they started to play with the bubbles, that is. when they started to play, they were more like just throwing the solution around more than making bubbles can..then i was super slimed..one of the boys found fun in sliming others and making bubbles land on other ppls head.dunno why. then to end, i made them shout daddy.they enjoyed it.dunno why.haha.then alot of daddys came.i forgot.MANY daddys were there.haha.then they were hosed down. they like to fall. they dip their legs in the solution and then started SLIDING around.when they fall, they just laugh it off while their dads are like freaking out. haha.then went home, all slimey and stuff.now.my hands are much much rougher than before can?not like it was not rough enough already.haha.then went to makan dinner and home.
now.my dad is hooked on my psp.on some african hunting game. well.at least there is one person less to worry about.on getting scolded or chased at, that is =)

2008-04-03T22:15:00.002+08:00

well well.guess i got new career option le..fortune teller.guessed my pes stats right.haha.PES C2L2.hehheh. no need take ippt, then also cannot go outfield.only fit for HQ duties. hahaha.oh wells.the stupid test got like 9 stations. the phsyco test was really physco. the test was like.."hey.whats your highest level of study??okok.any member in your family got any mental illness?dont have?ok good.please go to the counter with this.hve a nice day" and the ppl we called made it sound so serious.like.oh.we will access him mentally to see if he is ready for early enlistment.after the test?i think the saf is. outside look nice.inside like shyte. haha. anyways.then after that.had to go for hearing blood test.i tell you.the syringe ah.the needle is like..half a pencil can. then they poke in is more than a ant bite can..more like pinch.then can feel the blood being drawn out..then put the plaster.blood seeped through it..so you can imagine how big the hole is.then went for some ear test.more like to test hearing.the cubicle i went into.the room looked more like some blast thingy.the door uber thick.like some armour cell. then after that went to ceck eyes.the most retarded thing.he ask if i wear glasses.like..eh.blind ah.haha.then after that went for chest xray.the norm la.then went for dental check.then went for medical. gotta strip off shirt, then put bag, shoe and socks in locker. then go for ecg check.then weight and bpm and blood pressure.the can even tell your percentage and fat mass in your body can..scary. then when see the MO that time i nearly forgot to bring in my medical report can.haha.its that letter that gave me the downgrade man. then went for the computer test.the LONGEST one. i felt like i doing Os again can.the first round was ok.test imagination.i tot that was it. but NOOOOO.it was like uber lot can.then came the physics.then got MATHS!!!OMG.its not those 1+1 KIND.BUT GOT STORY ND STUFF.then i found out why got pencil provided.lol.then got algebra.and fractions and percentage.and proportion and also got sec 3 and 4 math. then got questions to ask you on what we like.and also got number pattern and comparisons. retarded.didnt nuderstand that one though. and also got explanation b4 the questions.the retarded thing is that.the time they gave was near impossible. 15 mins for 30 odd or 25ish questions.no calculator.now i feel cambridge is better than saf.at least also got calculator.andt hey tell us what to study for. all in all? this test was to think which vocaiton to put you in.crazy right? then my dad told me.math is for arty and sniper.logic and reasoning for OCS. another scary thing. when i sign in online, they had ALL MY INFO.FROM ADDRESS DOWN TO WHICH SCHOOL I STUDIED IN AND HOW MANY PASSES I HAVE FOR OS.if thats not scary, they even had my dads records, maybe cus he did ns b4..hmmm.well well.sorta took up the bulk of my day.reported at 830.went out at 1430.then ate at botak jones.the portions super big can...then went home lo.after buying food for dinner. so yea =)

Ns most likely in September.sigh. cant bear to leave _________ behind.*fill in the blanks accordingly =) *

2008-04-03T02:05:00.002+08:00

well well.nothing happened todae, exepct aiki. lucky not taking grading sia.see hui jun do the moves i scared also ah.but she got point.get it over and done with.black belt leh.who dun wan? but stress sia.scared cannot do properly.nener mind.i wait for the next one. tomorro go check up. pes c2? pes e2l4? hope so. hahaha.clerk sia. well well. then got enrolement on sat. sian... hard drive gg. NO MORE GRAD NITE PHOTOS..hope my dadas friend can fix it man.if not..i go jump building le..

2008-04-01T00:14:00.002+08:00

okok.guess what?got the job at babw =) not bad.SOLD A BEAR TODAE!! hee. oliver was his name.shoo-gy bear was his name.lol.cute.he lives in melbourne!!!hahaha.
well..enlistment in either huly, hune or september. kena medical on thurs. from now on, meeting sai to run, swim, and run.must do,if not.ippt kena till jialat. 4 mths.nvr mind know.later in camp kena cannot makan if no pull ups..hehheh.then i really kena.hahaha. later get pes b or c2 ah..good game. sai and his er.GOOD freind.(lets not get into details yea? ;>)
went to play at mines todae after work. stupid shoe.gave me blister.nvm.now, the back part of the shoe looks like got red paint. lol. its only a monday.

suddenly..i like feel this emptiness in my heart.its sinking in.NS, then i'm gone form singapore. starting anew in auzzie. new ppl, new enviroment. leavin behind most of the ppl i love. sigh.i really dunno what to do.some person on my tag board.has a great point.i wont say why.sigh.i do regret asking her if i stood a chance. sigh. it was really wishful thinking on my part. sigh. Pam? if you ever stumble on this page.i'm sorry.forgive me?but then again.its gonna be my fault if you dont. yea.say what you want. thinking like this is half the battle lost. but then again.being better prepared mentally reduces the blow? sigh. somehow. theres this bad feeling in me. but.what the heck.lets just go with the flow.

*loving this mask i put on*

2008-03-24T18:00:00.002+08:00

after camp syndrome.easter camp, that is. lack of sleep, hungry, bored.sleep is the thing i that i need most now..though money is next on the list.
wake up at 3 after sleeping at 12 to stand around and order ppl around is not exactly the thing that i wanna do.esp not if scolding ppl early in then morning is part of the agenda.well.the good thing was mcdonalds breakfast =) sasuage mcmuffin with egg, hashbrown, milo.though the hashbrowns were stuck to the paper.mashbrown would have been a more befitting description though.sians.i just wanna sleep now..

2008-03-21T21:25:00.002+08:00

what the fuck man.i mean.if you cant take my jokes, then just take it in your stride la.sigh.seriously sia.if you dont konw that side of me?dont call yourself my parents. if you can be sacarstic to everyone, and when ppl coame back from work, not happy then ram off at every one you can.when other ppl come back from work buay song, then jsut talk, you say why you not happy only everyone must kena from you.talk about hypocritisim.hmmph.0h wells.not saying that i not used to it or anything la.who you think you are? er.lets consider the options shall we?erm.YOUR FREAKING SON?! i saw your hand coming up.if not for the fact that you were my dad, i would have taken you down and broken your arm that very instance. try me.your shout.please la.if i were to shout, ha.everyone would have woke up.i was not parade commander for so many parades for nothing.dun be so sacarstic.sound familiar? and i really wonder who was the one that was being sacarstic.jsut what.1 sentense ago?really man. other than you being my dad?i didnt wanna see you go hospital and we have to pay for the bills.and den and the rest have to go to hospital to visit you.waste travel money.sigh.really man..somehow.thers theis feeling that wants to see him on the floor, pinned down by me,screaming in pain, asking or odering me to let him go.maybe one day.it'll come true.camp tomorro.lagi better.but wasted onli 2 day camp.sigh.oh wells.lucky never tell bs i going late sia.

2008-03-19T17:41:00.002+08:00

oh wells.going into army in september..i hope. after that, down under is where i'm going.not hell hor.dun anyhowly think. that means no presidents man.no ocs. no more nothing. but ang moh ppl.burger, cheeese and cows. not the frozen ones we see in ntuc. or the market.the life ones that go mooo.yes.those that can kena mad cow disease.yes.sound happy and stuff but nope.not one bit.leaving the place i grew up in.the place i made friends, where i fell in love and broke my heart in the end.the place where i grew up and learnt. but sigh.what to do.parents wanna leave this place for good.but thank God for budget airlines.the 20 odd bucks tix to and from auzzie =) well..

haven really recovered but what to do..life goes on no mater what right? sigh.

camp on sat. AGAIN.sian.but not so bad.got lan =)

2008-03-14T16:37:00.002+08:00

sigh.my hearts broken..yet again.but then again.it was never whole to begin with. sigh. i mean.if you wanted to tell me, maybe saying it not so bluntly may help the impact? sigh.i was already expecting a no but hey. who likes it so hard? sigh. it really hurts. doubt i'll go after anyone..sigh.enough le.no more. sigh.

if you read the message?it;ll hurt you super deep.sigh.used to it. it was a chase that i know would lead nowhere.i knew it from the start.i should not have chased since i knew i would not be able to catch.her.sure.i knew this ending but it still hurts.sigh. thanks jie..cus seriously? if not for you..i think i good game le. sigh. masking up again..

*that one sentence killed me.inside and outside*

2008-03-12T16:33:00.002+08:00

oh wells.never post for super long le. okok.8 march.went midnight supper after lazer tag. the stupid bar chor mee man.take a bloody half hour to deliever a small bowl of noodles. chiong him so many times then he bring. eeevvvvviiiiiillllllll. slept till 2 the next day. hee

oh wells.feeling lazy todae.went to get a job at babw! got it. wl la. kena target by adelina. like seow. heart ritual and stuff. then the stuffing. kena mcflurry. snowed on me sia. not so bad. the worst on is those that kena adeline. they kena tekan super bad.
got this girl looked just like esmeralda! her name ace. not bad.but.somethings are better left not mentioned. not bad.helped each other out. all in all? it was fun..later got aikido.leg super pain.dunno can do not.sigh

out

2008-03-08T00:51:00.002+08:00

oh wells..nothing much happened today..dens at camp..kinda miss her though..not used to the quietness around in the house..ah wells. phones quiet..dunno what happened,.suddenly never reply..not that i'm not used to it..
she has camp tomorro till monday.wont be messaging her in that time..but one thing for sure..i'll be thinking of her.
i;m bored..to the core.nothing to do.wanna sleep but cant sleep. wanna do something but nothing to do..sigh.got the urge to try and call her again but she got camp tomorro and i dun wanna get disappointed again..sigh.
i;m getting emo..dunno why. just wanna shut up and let the world go past.take every step cus its necessary. i just feel like something left me. a HUGE hole in me. is it the ppl i hang out with? is it the things i have experienced? is it my past experiences? was it the things i have done? is it the things i have yet to do?is it the things that have happened? is it the things that i fear? is it the self confidence that i have lost? all these questions add up and i feel like i'm spiralling deeper and deeper into despair. the mask i managed to take off is coming back once again.and i am not exactly happy about that. whats happening? money is a concern for me. parents arnt exactly doing that well. i dun wanna be a burden to them. i just wanna stay out and not add to the cost of their living. i just wanna lighten them of the load. i;m gonna get a better paying job. live off myself. but.who is gonna hire me? poly starting soon. sigh.
i just wanna sit in a corner and just let the world go round and on.quietly.

2008-03-07T00:35:00.002+08:00

camp..TA and awards camp..not much happened. but one of the funniest things that a certain person said..huh you have balls?sorry bu i have tentacles! [he meant testicles]. then the drill answers that they gave int he drill theory is RETARDED. haha. then the first night i went to collect the test papers then at teh same time went to buy milo for the primers =D then the last night after the night walk, officers bought us supper.hokkien mee and stuff.

then today..went to have lunch with tim and then went home. at tampines, sai called and told me to meet the guys at city hall at 6. it was 330.i reached home then rest then walk out again. haha. well..didnt regret. kar wei aka rainbow man, went crazy, as usual, towards the end of the outing, sai put his cold hand on him and he went, after 2 seconds lag time. ah!MAT selamat! and we imitated him like crazy.the whole starbucks thoought we were crazy. haha.now, we are officially the RAINMATS.

2008-02-29T00:35:00.002+08:00

oh wells..camp going to start todae..phone managed to get it done by today.then didnt make it in time to go collect in time cus recee ran over time.man.talking about it makes me sian..

well.went to meet bin soon and the other ppl at bb campsite. when i was on my was there,it was like going to rain la. scary..but not so bad.in the bus got this chio bu stand in front of me. pheew. shews HAWT. then kept looking at her. kept looking at each other but didnt wanna get number. there's already er.someone i want =D then when i reached the sembawang, wait for bus.then it started to rain like no ones business. then i reached the place. then the rain let up.but got heavier. then after that the sky got super dark. i waited for 1 full hour!!! but the consolation was that "she" was actually messaging me and replying like super fast! man. that was like super nice sia. i was jiust hoping that they actually came later so i can message her longer =) stupid but yea. haha. then when they came, i was like oo..kk. how come got girl infront one? then i deduced. okok. thats occifer;s gal.haha. then the recee, that was supposed to be done on foot? ended up being done in a car.we went in circles like so many times. man. i pity his fuel man..then still had to go baq to work. he;s a nurse,btw. i actually wanted to be a nurse..but my friends were like NNNOOOO!!!! like i said the most retarded thing to them la. but then again.since when am i not retarded?

i dunno la..hope my phone dun hang when i go get my phone later.then gotta but the lightsticks and stuff.sigh.hope can message her later.IN CAMP.

2008-02-27T23:42:00.002+08:00

sigh.phone spoilt..AGAIN!!!!! sigh.camp coming up somemore..how? sigh.in camp..hard to talk to her leh..3 days!!i mean..she aint really mine but..sigh.it hurts when i cant talk to her..though i dunno what to talk to her about, i just whip up something to talk to her about..i mean.sound retarded but hey.aint that me? well..a phone is just something that allows me to communicate with ppl..and even if i have the best phone? it aint worth nothing if you cant talk to he one that you love the most right? oh wells.

i think theres something wrong with me man..its like..self contradictory like that..though i wanna talk to her late into the night? i know she has school the next day. yea sure. i'd love to talk to her late but yet i want her to sleep..how? wanna talk to her but yet at the same time i want her to sleep.sigh.i'm repeating myself over and over again. whats wrong with me? smitten. Os. wishful thinking on my part? i mean. yea sure i confessed to her about how i feel..the whole worold know how i feel about her...twice i told her how i felt, twice i got hurt or was lost..entered the cold war twice.hurts man..i dare say this. i treat her like she is mine..but yet at the same time i know that she is not mine. what can i do? as much as i want her, i dont know if she wants to be mine.. what can i do to find out? as long as she is happy, hey.i am too.sure.it'll hurt a heck lot but.seeing her happy.yea.thats good enough for me..sigh. hope you dun see this pam..

sigh.lost, confused and out in the cold.

2008-02-22T20:54:00.003+08:00

okok.i know my blog has been dead for awhile..hee. okok.

postings results are out..made it to etcm [ extraordinary traditional chinese medicine] NOT!]. not the coures i wanted but..still a course...contemplating enlistment..hopet he guys dun see this though..

outing coming soon.easier said than done.how? okok. i ,mean, i'm totally smitten to her. i mean like.i dunno is it wishful thinking on my part or what but..yea.sigh. well..i really dunno what was going on through my head for time when i was in sec 4.i mean..there she was.the wonderful her. i was blind enough to give her up. she waited, and so did i. sure that was 2 years ago..i was like what .sec 2? determination not there yet.now? hmmph. not even hurricane kartina can waver my determination to have her. but then again.there is something that kepps bothering me. its her os this year. from what i heard, she has a untouched heart. i dare to take up this challenge. but my fear is the fear of hurting her. with every move i make, i have to be careful not to hurt her, or seem too close for comfort.it happened once.i aint not going to let it happen again. its too big a risk for me. yea sure it took awhile for both to recover. it was a difficult time to do but well..i got over it.i hope she did too.. from what i see? i cant see anything..sigh. ever tried going out to sea without any navigational equipment? yea.thats what i'm doing now..like whta mr ng always says..walk by faith and not by sight...

she has os this year. well..i'll wait till after..

found this song..uber old.just noticed its..er.applicable =) its by elvis costello..titled she. apt right? =]

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

2008-01-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

ok.its official.i;m confused. sigh.oh wells.taking results todae! ah! sigh..howhowhow. leave it ba.done my best already. to continue or not??

met yeni todae.ate sakae. 61 bucks. one of the last times i saw her..she grew boy.she so grew. and she had to talk about childhood times.we blush like crazy.talked too.man i;ll miss her.a childhood freind going off. but nvm.i'll see her there.haha.melb, that is.

then met june later.i feel so bad..made her wait.sigh.then waited at bus stop with her.then she wanted to miss a few buses to talk.haha.gotta catch up with her sometime.sigh.somethings are better left unsaid.

wellwell.results in 13hours5mins.

2008-01-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

i'll catch you when you fall baby.you be sure of that. i wont be here phyically, but be sure that my hearts with you.i'll be there for you baby. much as i wanna let go, i cant. i get weak jsut looking at your smart.my hearts threw into a hurricane.. you've killed me for other gals.when will my fantasy ever come true?

2008-01-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

okokok.i reawlly gotta post bout the HK trip soon.sigh. But i'm just uber shagged. been waking up early for the past few times. and i really cant take it no more. I'm just up mist of the time at night thinking of her.but then again like i said before.sigh.i;m just contradicting myself time and time again.what should i do.the things around me aint helping one bit.what CAN i do.nothing at all. teh suffering inside of me.no one will ever understand.All that will happen is that i will isnk into my own despair.only one person can save me now. HER. then the question of her getting her own true love comes in.its never ending.like the chicken and egg question.

work was ok.but sucked. i'm getting tired.REAL tired.gonna quit soon.if i get hte BABW job?so be it.if not? life goes on..sigh. NS, Auzzie,All the shit that adds up. what can i do? sit by and watch the world go by. life in cartoon motion. life seems..static without love.yet, ppl wanna go by WITHOUT love.love makes the world go round.those that wanna do without love do all that it takes to go on without love, while others do all that they can to get love.one must br content with what he or she has.count your blessings and not lament on what you do not have.

once again.my mask is put on.this time.i will make sure that no one will be able to see through it and i will make sure that it does not slip one bit.

i wanna talk to her.she has Os and she wont pick up my calls.how?????

please love me or i'll be gone.for good.this time?it aint just a poem.its for real.I'll be in NS, then Australia.FOR GOOD

bryant..loving you all the way...from a distance.
going further away noe.

2008-01-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

okokok.yesterday..decided that i was going to auzzie to study after all. and i was gg to do my ns then go to study. then the thing is that i'll be leaving my frens..but the thing is that..hte course is done by the same instructors at RMIT.sigh. i;ll miss my frens, and most imptly, i'll miss you know who..sigh. decided.i'll apply for poly still.cus need to go for some retarded interview b4 can enlist if i enlisting early..tupid.sigh.hope i cant go for ns.then can stay with my frens.sigh.i'm confused. half of me wants to give her up, let her have or be with someone that would be there with her for good. as much as i want to be with her?i know that i wont be here in sg forever.

i love her.And i would for sure want the best for her.thats for sure.

if letting her go and seeing her with some one that treats her well would be best.seeing her happy would be the best.if the guy with her dares do anything funny, i dont care if he owns the army.i'll employ every single aikido move i know on him, his legs and manhood. unless she stops me. so listen good, "he who is going to be the fortunate one to win her heart".so long as you hurt one strand of hair on her, you watch out.I WILL FLY ALL THE WAY FROM AUSTRALIA TO KICK YOU IN THE NUTS.or anywhere else that deems fit.

moving on..jan 14..went to eat sakae with the guys.we played so much that the ppl kept looking at us to the point that we noticed there were no customers sitting in our aisle,.good thing that sai smart..he took the seats towards the back of the shop when we were offered the seats near the entrance.haha.but b4 that we played arcade.then watied for hari at the sushi place..we sat there for 2 hours.it was a buffet. didnt eat really that much though..lost weight.dun wanna gain back.haha. then played ghost recon and world combat again.haha.this time, hari used his card with sai.dang..got home late. talking to her on the way back was the best man..but i rather she sleep la.so late.she needs to sleep man.she sec 4 this year..baby.i know this man.i went through it just the way you went through it. now can sleep late.but dont do that once you hit term 2 oki? sigh. i know you wont read this but. take care sweetheart..

*[loving you from a distance]*

oh yea.i love you too..though you'll never read this..

2008-01-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

friday 11 jan...

woke up todae.supposed to meet sai and the other ppl.but had to see doc at 3.so cant meet lo. then after that met them for dinner. played arcade. i never sweated so much while playing air hockey can..then the puck hit by sai missed us by a little only know. then when playing with hari ah..he hit my hand so many million times..haha. we shout so much ppl started to look at us in a different light.hah

2008-01-12T02:57:00.000+08:00

only love can say..try again or walk away..

been thinking..am i really worthy of her? is there another one in her heart? 27dec2005. the day it ended. you told me you were not ready.i waited till i was led astray..i even was dumb enuf to tell you that i was going after another gal.and you knew her. i was waiting for you..you even told me that you were not ready.when i confessed?you told me you didnt know what to say.what was i suppposed to do? you told me not to be emo.how can i? sure, its been a while. you were cold.you even daoed me.till i called you.on the day you killed me, you rejected my call.expected. i took it as a sign to back off.then you msgde me felt over the moon.you know how happy i am whenever i see your name on my phone? now i dare not confess to you again.would i be hurt again? i think of you all the time. i love you. do you? i know i've hurt you.you've hurt me. i dont really care.i just wanna be with you.to see you happy.

you can kill me for all i care. all i wanna see is your smile. the one that melted my heart. the words that calm me and the voice that remind why i live. i am willing to sacrifice all for you. you may not return my love. i;m willing to give it to you still.loving someone does not mean 2-way.to see you happy is my joy. when you feel sad and pain, how i wish i was the one taking it from you. seeing you complain hurts me, to see you suffer. you may take long to reply.i dont care.cus forever is a long time and a good thing and person is worth the wait.

i was foolish enough to ignore the fact that the girl for me was in front of me yet i over looked her, taking adive on love from her.the pain i caused you. i can feel it.i'm totally sorry. i got impatient. now i've changed.i'll wait for you.no matter how long. you've killed me for other gals. now i'm stretching out my hand for you to save me from drowning in the sea of despair and lonliness.

baby you know who you are. ive been her.always was and always will be,there for you.call me anytime when you;re in need.i'll fly down. i'll protect you at all costs. i'd rather take the pain for you then see you suffer even the slightest pain causes an amplified pain in my heart.

i love you.i want you.to hold you in my arms,keeping you safe and warm watching over you all your life, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, thorugh poverty or richness,till death till us part.

let__feelings__lead__you..all the way.and end up hurt?

What's the worst that could happen eh

letfeelingslead__you..all the way.and end up hurt?